*** Weird Jokes Directory ***


Congratulations, you've just found out our exclusive hilarious collection of fresh and funny jokes selected carefully and organized in topics to brighten up your day with megafun and humor. Enjoy our catalogue and add your jokes if you want, you just need to register 😎

- Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.


Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



Latest PUNS and DAD Jokes:


  • What can you catch but not throw?
    A cold! 🥶

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  • I can't say enough about dry erase boards... they're remarkable.

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  • Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
    That’s just how I roll.

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  • What did the door said to the other door on a date?
    You're a-door-able.

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  • Orthodontists just announced they will go on nationwide strike.

    Brace yourselves!

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  • What should they call
    the stairs used for
    boarding planes...

    A flight of stairs.

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  • I’m thinking of robbing a bakery of all utensils. It’s dangerous, but that’s a whisk I’m willing to take.

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  • For such a large coal factory, it only had a single rail system going through it. I guess you can say it was a...
    ...one track mine.

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  • We must congratulate canyons, caverns and tunnels ; they've always been echo-friendly.

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  • A hundred years ago, we might have said "Dedicated milliners will always find a way to practice their craft." Nowadays we simply say "Hatters gonna hat."

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  • Mining is boring.

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  • SAD NEWS!!
    My new inflatable house got a puncture last night.
    Now I'm living in a flat!

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  • In my spare time I make clocks that go backwards.

    What do you do to unwind?

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  • I stole a lorry load of mirrors. Which, upon reflection, wasn’t a great idea.

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  • I'm just saying a 100 lb bag of soil for only $1 is, without a doubt, dirt cheap.

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  • I took a picture of a field of wheat.
    It was grainy.

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  • I went to a Maize Maze.

    It was corn-fusing.

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  • Time is not yours nor theirs...
    It's hours.

    * * * * *


  • It was my choice to get thrown out of Automotive school.
    They gave me an independent suspension.

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  • When astronauts die they run an orbituary.

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  • What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool? Show me your mussels.

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  • To the person who stole my place in the queue.
    I’m after you now.

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  • I was so desperate to get a part in a Broadway play, that my friend said, 'Break a leg!'
    I thought, 'What a terrible thing to say,' but now I'm in the cast!

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  • If I can't perfect human cloning, I won't be able to live with myself.

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  • The thief was arrested as he left the fortune teller's house. He was caught read handed.

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  • When she left, she broke my zodiac plate and left me here to pick up the Pisces.

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  • Before I became a professional, was I just a fessional.

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  • I bought five watches the other day. I have a lot of time on my hands....

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  • There was a locked metal box at an auction. Who knew what was in it? I decided to stop bidding at $50. That seemed like a safe bet.

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  • I love fireworks, i seem to have a flare for them.

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  • How am I feeling about the upcoming Enlightenment Philosophy Conference?
    I Kant wait!

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  • I sneezed three times in a row. Everyone sitting in that row got up and left.

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  • I have seen some absolutely magnificent buildings in my time, but by far I say schools are the...classiest.

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  • Accidentally locked myself in a glass cabinet in a museum.
    I ended up making an exhibition of myself.

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  • Had carol singers
    at my door yesterday evening... All I wanted
    was a Silent Night

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  • Special Announcement: stairs are no longer being sold individually. They will now be sold by the case. This is a big step up for us.

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  • I was at a watchmakers meeting.
    I was the one taking the minutes.

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  • Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop? I did it the other knight...And I got rooked.

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  • While it is legal to transport certain vegetables by boat, I'd be careful how you inform people you've got leeks on your ship.

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  • I shortened the rope on the bucket that didn’t go down well.

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