250+ Hilarious Stupid, silly and idiotic jokes.



Wife: Honey I’m pregnant.
Me: Well… what do we do now?
Wife: I guess we should go to a baby doctor.
Me: Hm... I think I’d be a lot more comfortable going to an adult doctor.

- TOP dumbest joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • What group of people never get angry?
    The nomads.

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  • When a left-hander writes with his left hand, does his left hand become his write hand. I say yes. Even though I am left-handed, am I right?

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  • COP PULLS OVER A DRUNK DRIVER and says: The answer to this question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?!

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  • What do donkeys on Blackpool beach get for lunch !!!!!
    Half an hour like everyone else...

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  • This morning I made a Belgian waffle. Later, in the afternoon I made a Frenchman hesitate.

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  • I was sitting in traffic the other day...
    Probably why I got run over.

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  • Inventor of pocket calculator dies at age of 9 × 9.

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  • T- shirt is the abbreviation of Tyrannosaurus shirt.
    You know. Because of the short arms.

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  • How does a mouse save another mouse from drowning ? With mouse-to-mouse resuscitation .

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  • I went to the barbers to get my hair cut, the barber said would you like it cut around the back, i said no, here in the salon is fine.

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  • I saw a sign in a shop window that said, 'Watch batteries fitted £5.50.'
    I thought, "Why would anyone pay to see that?

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  • One cardiologist said his success seemed to be in the cards!

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  • I went to view a house on a Native American reservation:
    "I like it" I said, "does it come with running water?"
    He said, "No, get your own wife."

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  • I dont know what just happened at the check-in desk, the woman said "window or aisle" i replied "window or you'll what?"

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  • What has 5 fingers, but isn't your hand?
    My hand.

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  • What do you call an alligator with a law degree?
    A litigator

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  • Why didn't Edward return to America?
    He was Snowden.

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  • I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING IT 🥴 how come?! I've got nothing to lose...

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  • What's yellow and goes bzzzzz? An electric lemon.

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  • I tried to date a 16 year old girl but I couldn't
    Why?
    Coz she smelled like teen spirit ...

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  • My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath but I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.

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  • One of astronauts first missions was to watch the Earth rotate from space. After 24 hours they got bored & called it a day.

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  • Apparently I was a bell in my former life.
    So I've been tolled.

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  • What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
    Jurassic Pork.

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  • Last night my can opener broke.
    Now I have a can't opener.

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  • I bought my canoe at 50% off. It was a sale boat.

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  • An intelligent woman is a woman with whom a man can be as stupid as he wants!

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  • The sign said “WET PAINT” so I emptied my water bottle on it.
    I’m currently waiting on further instructions.

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  • I don't think we do get smarter as we get older.
    I just think we run out of stupid things to do.

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  • I asked the pet shop guy for a goldfish. He said: "Do you want an aquarium?"
    I said: "I don’t care what it's star sign is"

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  • Fishing License? That's just dumb.
    You can't even drive a fish.

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  • I got food posioning yesterday...

    I haven't used it yet.

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  • I was cleaning my flat today when I thought...
    Why don't I just buy a new tire?

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  • *throws butter out the window*

    Me: look at that butterfly.

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  • I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.

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  • You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

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  • Do you know why the Tin Man drinks oil?...
    Because he CAN...

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  • A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....

    ...oof !!

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  • A fella staggers exhausted into his house.
    "What's wrong with you?" asks his wife.
    "I thought I'd save my £2 bus fare by running behind the bus" gasps the man.
    "You idiot" says his wife.
    "If you'd run home behind a taxi you could've saved £15!"

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  • Parachute lessons only £2.
    No strings attached.

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  • I didn’t think anyone but me knew why the medicine cabinet smelled like deodorant, but it turned out to be an open Secret.

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  • I keep seeing TIA and never know what it means. Can anyone tell me?

    Thanks in advance.

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  • A man said to me 'Life's too shirt'. I said 'You mean too short'. He said 'No, I can only afford two shirts'.

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  • I was so close to winning "The worlds most congested nose competition", but I blew it at the last minute!

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  • If anybody has any tips on how to prevent burglary my door is always open.

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  • Given the recent economic times, I've bought a bouncy castle in case the employment market takes a downturn.
    It will give me something to fall back on.

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  • Phew! I am so relieved, all my test results came back negative
    (What is IQ anyway?)

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  • Having to purchase a fishing license is stupid. You can’t even drive a fish.

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  • Guitar strings can play music- shoe strings can knot.

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  • School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes.

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  • There was a tap on my door this morning,
    I really must get a new plumber.

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  • First rule in plumbing is to trust your basic in-sink.

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  • Teacher: Mr Smith,I think you should buy Jimmy an encyclopaedia.
    Dad: Rubbish,he can walk to school just like I had to.

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  • Two cavemen are in a cave.
    One caveman says "ug"
    The other caveman says "ug"
    The other caveman says "ug"
    One caveman says "ug ug"
    The other caveman says "Don't change the fucking subject!"

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  • My dad gave me some advice when I was a teenager !.

    He said, "Son, if you ever get into a fight in the pub, just take a ball from the pool table and put it in your sock."

    Worst advice ever, I could hardly fucking run !!!!!

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More stupid, silly and idiotic jokes on the following pages...