Hilarious jokes about CHESS that will make your day 🤪!



I like to play chess with old bald men in the park.
But it’s kind of hard to find 32 of them.

- Random starter chess groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • My missus came home with a Monopoly board under one arm and a Cluedo under the other arm. Her feet were stuck to a Trivial Pursuit and a Chess board. I said to her "Are you on the game?"

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  • Great news..
    I've just got a job at the chess factory, bad news is I'm on knights next week.

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  • My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess.

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  • A Guy picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions.
    It turns out to be a book on chess!

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  • I don't know who needs to know this but there is a play in chess called the "Bob Seger"...
    ...that's when the knight moves.

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  • Just curious, can you buy a whole chess set at a pawn shop?

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  • What do you call chess players bragging in a hotel lobby?

    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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  • I work as a chess piece manufacturer, this week I'm on nights.

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  • I don't know who needs to know this but there is a play in chess called the "Bob Seger"...
    ...that's when the knight moves.

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  • I went to the doctors yesterday and told him that everytime I cough I hear words like Knight Bishop pawn and queen .
    He said I had a chess infection.

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  • Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop? I did it the other knight...And I got rooked.

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  • I love playing chess at the park with old men.
    The hard part is finding 32 of them.

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  • I went to the doctors yesterday and told him that every time I cough, I hear words like knight, bishop, pawn and queen .
    He said I had a chess infection.

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  • My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess.

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  • How is a chess player like an Australian who's about to leave a restaurant?
    They're both looking for a checkmate.

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  • Life is like chess.
    You can never find a mate.

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  • My missus came home with a Monopoly board under one arm and a Cluedo under the other arm. Her feet were stuck to a Trivial Pursuit and a Chess board. I said to her "Are you on the game?"

    * * * * *


  • Saw an owl having a game of chess with a bird with a big beak. I thought “toucan play that game.”

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  • I had to leave the hotel earlier when two grand masters arrived and started talking about their best tournaments. I can’t stand chess nut boasting in an open foyer.

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  • I like to play chess with old bald men in the park.
    But it’s kind of hard to find 32 of them.

    * * * * *


  • A Guy picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions.
    It turns out to be a book on chess!

    * * * * *


  • I was playing chess with my friend and he said "let's make this interesting" So we stopped playing chess.

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  • I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant with checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.

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  • I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called “69 Mating Positions”.

    Turns out it’s about Chess strategies.

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  • Men and Women compete separately in Chess championships.
    It means one gender is definitely dumber than the other.

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  • Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

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  • I lost a £20 bet with friend at a game of chess.
    I asked him how he wanted paying, he said “cheque mate”.

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  • I saw a pigeon having a game
    Of chess with a bird with a big beak. I thought “toucan play at that game.

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  • Great news..
    I've just got a job at the chess factory, bad news is I'm on knights next week.

    * * * * *


  • I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
    So we stopped playing chess.

    * * * * *


  • I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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More chess jokes on the following pages...