101+ Hilarious Confucius Say Jokes That Will Make Your Day 😎



Confucius say...He who jumps out of airplane without parachute, is jumping to conclusion.

- BEST Confucius joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers.

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  • Confucius say, man who finger girl having period get caught red handed.

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  • Confucius say, closed mouth catches no flies, but closed fly catches no mouths.

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  • Confucius say, man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

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  • Confucius say, man who jizz in cash register come into money.

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  • Confucius say, man who fuck in cemetery may end up fucking dead.

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  • Confucius say, man who put cock on stove, have hot rod.

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  • Confucius say, woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink.

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  • Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose.

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  • Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor.

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  • Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self.

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  • Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self.

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  • Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock.

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  • Confucius say, man who pull woman's bra strap, may get bust in face.

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  • Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick.

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  • Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack.

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  • Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more.

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  • Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss dick.

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  • Confucius say, man who eat pussy, do lip service.

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  • Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back.

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  • Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet.

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  • Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke.

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  • Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night.

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  • Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all.

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  • Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump.

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  • Confucius say, support bacteria - is only culture some people have.

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  • Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom.

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  • Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself.

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  • Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer - fucking near water.

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  • Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring.

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  • Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker.

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  • Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point.

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  • Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

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  • Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk.

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  • Confucius say, man who sneeze without tissue take matter into own hands.

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  • Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache.

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  • Confucius say, OK for shit to happen - will decompose.

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  • Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle.

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  • Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard.

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  • Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard.

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  • Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn.

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  • Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef.

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  • Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose.

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  • Confucius say, waitress who sit on leper's lap, keep tip.

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  • Confucius say, girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.

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  • Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip.

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  • Confucius say, learn to masturbate - come in handy.

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  • Confucius say, man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam.

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  • Confucius say, man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy.

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  • Confucius say, man with penis in peanut butter jar, fucking nuts.

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