Hilarious jokes about DANCE that will make your day 🤪!



Huge shout out to those that danced near the speakers in the 90s.

- Random starter dance groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • New ballerina is looking for a male to lead her and provide some guy-dance.

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  • Even though I can't sing or dance I've been asked to join a Take That tribute act as Gary. Yeah, they've really set the bar low.

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  • - What do cars do at the disco?
    - Brake dance.

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  • Don't dance in Greece!!
    I did once and kept slipping over!!

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  • Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

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  • Why didn't the skeleton go to the night club?
    -
    Cause he had no body to dance with.

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  • Q: Where do snowmen go to dance?
    A: Snowballs. ⛄

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  • I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet.
    But only for like 20 seconds.
    And only once.

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  • Why do math teachers make good dancers?
    Because they have algorithm!

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  • Micropenis anonymous has been canceled due to small attendance.

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  • If strippers are called exotic dancers then drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacists.

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  • WHEN GIRLS DRINK TO MUCH:
    1~ We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.
    2~ We believe that dancing with our arms overhead,wiggling our butt while yelling woohoo! is truly the sexiest dance move around.
    3~ In our last trip to pee,we realize that we now look like a homeless hooker then the goddess we were just 4 hours ago.
    4~We start crying and telling everyone we see-that we love them so much.
    5~ We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "oh my god! I love that song!"
    6~ We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
    7~ We yell at the bartender who we believe cheated us by giving us just juice.But that's because we can no longer taste the alcohol.
    8~ We think we are in bed. But our pillow feels strangely like the bathroom floor or toilet or kitchen floor or mop.
    9~ We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it.
    10~ We take off our shoes because we believe it's their fault that were having issues walking straight.

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  • A woman is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up.
    She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time?"
    The doctor replies, "Well, women have been having babies for a million years without a doctor in attendance. It's a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant."
    The blonde interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"

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  • Women are perfectly capable of making independent decisions. they don't need any guydance.

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  • - What do single people call Valentine's Day?
    - Happy Independance Day.

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  • Juicy Proverbs
    ● Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
    ● Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
    ● Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.
    ● Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
    ● Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself.
    ● Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!
    ● Education is like hiring a prostitute, it needs both money & hard work.
    ● When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the ass of reason goes un-wiped.
    ● Men play the game. Women know the score.
    ● Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does!
    ● Guys are like roses, just watch out for the pricks
    ● College is like a woman; you work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never come.
    ● Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.
    ● The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can't even remember her first husband.
    ● Here is the definition of divorce, she gets the ring and the man gets the finger!
    ● See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
    ● Confucius say man who puts hand in bush is not always a gardener.
    ● A botany student has brought to our attention the fact that penis is the only thing that has to be grown before it is planted.

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  • John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.
    His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she blindfold him and takes him to a local strip club.
    The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, John! How ya doin?"
    Once inside his wife removes the blindfold but she's puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
    "Oh no," says John. "He's on my bowling team."
    When they are seated, a waitress asks John if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
    His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
    "I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the first nine, honey.
    A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around John, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Johnny. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
    John's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. John follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
    John tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him or someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book.

    The cabby turns around and says, "Geez John, you picked up a real bitch this time."

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  • A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it's going by. As he gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Impeccable timing. You're just like Frank."
    Passenger: "Who?"

    Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

    Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

    Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

    Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."

    Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

    Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"

    Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

    Passenger: "How did you meet him?"

    Cabbie: "I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."

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  • How do you make a Kleenex dance?

    Put a little boogie in it.

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  • - What do cars do at the disco?
    - Brake dance.

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  • Elvis = Lives
    Madonna Louise Ciccone = One cool dance musician
    Bart (as in Bart Simpson) = Brat
    Paris = Pairs
    San Diego = Diagnose

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  • Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

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  • I learned to dance at an early age. We only had one bathroom.

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  • My horse is a rubbish dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.

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  • I went to a nightclub that was full of Orcs, Hobbits and Elves...

    It was Mordor on the dancefloor...

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  • Don't dance in Greece!!
    I did once and kept slipping over!!

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  • Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.

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  • Even though I can't sing or dance I've been asked to join a Take That tribute act as Gary. Yeah, they've really set the bar low.

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  • Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers.
    Most strippers have little or no coverage.

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  • Why don't worms have balls? Because they can't dance!!

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  • Why aren't dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!

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  • Dance like no one is watching. Because they're not. They're checking their phones.

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  • A ballet dancer friend of mine recently had twins. He's now a pas de deux.

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  • When does a farmer dance? When the beet drops.

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  • Dancers took 5,6,7,8 because musicians took 1,2,3,4.

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  • I asked the woman at the Post Office if she keeps stationary?
    She said: "Yeah! but when I get bored I like to dance around a bit!"

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  • Why did the two knives go to the dance together? Because they both looked sharp.

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  • “I had to stop being a tap dancer. I kept falling into the sink.”

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  • New ballerina is looking for a male to lead her and provide some guy-dance.

    * * * * *


  • John was at a party, sitting alone. There were a lot of people, but his eyes were fixed on a particular girl. She was absolutely stunning, dancing freely, laughing and chatting with others.

    Suddenly, the girl turned her head towards John, and a smile appeared on her lips. As she started to walk towards John, his heart started beating faster.

    The girl was now in front of John, and with the sweetest voice ever, she asked, "Do you wanna' dance?"

    John was speechless, he couldn't believe his ears. He somehow managed to say, "Y...ya"

    "Well then get out of that chair, I need to sit down"

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  • Shag" is a funny word isn’t it?
    To a smoker it’s tobacco, to an American it’s a dance, to an ornithologist it’s a bird and to me it’s a remote possibility.

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  • What do a small pair of underpants and a small dancefloor have in common?
    No ballroom.

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  • I grew up with 6 sisters. That's how I learned to dance...waiting for the bathroom.

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  • Me on security.

    "There's a member of staff dancing naked in the canteen."

    Control Room, "Copy that."

    Me, "I'll try but I'm not much of a dancer."

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  • Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom.

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  • I tried to teach my dog to dance, but he just doesn’t get it. Honestly, he acts like he has two left feet!

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  • I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I'd so tap that."

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  • Huge shout out to those that danced near the speakers in the 90s.

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  • Why aren't dogs good dancers?
    They have two left feet!

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  • My High School reunion is coming up so I only have a few days to learn how to dance, have kids and get rich.

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  • Dance like nobody’s watching .
    Sing like nobody’s listening.
    Tweet like nobody gives a fuck.

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