Hilarious jokes about FOOLs that will make your day 🤪!



A fool with a tool is still a fool... but with a tool!

- Random starter fools groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • It's better to be kissed by a fool than to be fooled by a kiss.

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  • The astronaut was fooling around in space and failed to understand the gravity of the situation!

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  • “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
    – Dale Carnegie

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  • Its easier to fool the people than to convince them they are fooled.!
    - Mark Twain

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  • It’s easier to fool the fools, than to prove to fools that they’ve been fooled.
    A.Bratus

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  • The Women's Dictionary
    1.Fine
    This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word "fine" to describe how she looks.
    2. Five minutes
    These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade.
    3. Nothing
    The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine".
    4. Go Ahead (Raised eyebrow)
    Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it actually means the opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."
    5. Go Ahead (Normal eyebrow)
    Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it should not be confused with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". It is normally precedes by a few seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead", followed by "nothing" and "fine". She will speak to you again in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
    6. Loud Sigh
    This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"!
    7. Soft Sigh
    Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
    8. Oh
    This word - followed by any statement - heralds big trouble. For example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, just run - do not walk. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
    9. That's Okay
    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised eye browed "Go ahead". Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan
    it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
    10. Please Do
    This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."
    11. Thanks
    The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome".
    12. Thanks A Lot
    Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks". A woman will say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "loud sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing".

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  • A young man is passing by a bar when he sees an old woman fishing with a stick and a string in a puddle by the sidewalk. “She must be a poor old fool,” he thinks to himself, and out of the kindness of his heart, he invites the woman in for a drink.
    After he’s paid for their round and the two are sitting quietly, he asks her, “So how many have you caught today?”
    The old woman grins, takes a big sip of her drink, and replies, “You’re the eighth.”

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  • The astronaut was fooling around in space and failed to understand the gravity of the situation!

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  • A shaved pussy is a busy pussy. Don't let these girls fool you. You will never see grass on a busy road.

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  • 2 men were walking home after a Halloween party & decided to take a shortcut through the cemetary just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetary they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping sound coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear they found an old man with a chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. Holy cow Mister, one of them said after catching his breath. You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing, working so late? Those fools, the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

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  • It's probably my age that fools people into thinking I'm an adult.

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  • It's better to be kissed by a fool than to be fooled by a kiss.

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  • "Sometimes love is a misunderstanding between two fools."

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  • “I am a fool with a heart but no brains, and you are a fool with brains but no heart; and we’re both unhappy, and we both suffer.”

    —Fyodor Dostoevsky

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  • It is a wise man who lives with money in the bank, it is a fool who dies that way.
    French Proverb.

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  • There's a little-known, but foolproof defense against sharks. Sharks will only attack you if you're wet.

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  • I never trust a Tom. They are far too often involved in foolery or peeping for my liking.

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  • Man lost in a hot air balloon over Ireland.

    He looks down and sees a farmer and shouts to him "Where am i?"

    the irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't fool me, i know you're in that basket!"

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  • Any fool can know. The point is to understand.
    Albert Einstein

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  • It’s easier to fool the fools, than to prove to fools that they’ve been fooled.
    A.Bratus

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  • I wrote a screen play about love in the time of Kotex.
    It was a period piece.
    No one would produce it. Bloody fools!

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  • “Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
    The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

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  • The wisest of all, in my opinion, is he who can, if only once a month, call himself a fool. ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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  • Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

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  • A fool with a tool is still a fool... but with a tool!

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  • “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
    – Dale Carnegie

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  • Its easier to fool the people than to convince them they are fooled.!
    - Mark Twain

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  • "Showing off is the fool's idea of glory."

    - Bruce Lee

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More fools jokes on the following pages...