500+ Brilliant Jokes about animals, insects and fishes that will make your day !



- Where do animals do online meetings?
- Zoo-m.

- TOP animal joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • I suppose when you've seen one lion catch a zebra, you've seen a maul.

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  • I poured some water over a duck’s back yesterday.

    He didn’t care.

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  • When I get really bored I put Red Bull in my humming bird feeder.

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  • What do you get when two giraffes collide?

    A giraffic jam.

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  • How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on him.
    How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    Tame way.

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  • I tried to teach my dog to dance, but he just doesn’t get it. Honestly, he acts like he has two left feet!

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  • God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers.
    But in the end he went with plan Bee.

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  • Apparently 30% of owners let their pet sleep in their bed.
    I tried it and my goldfish died.

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  • There’s a blood-sucking insect who issues speeding tickets.
    Be careful, folks.
    The tic is clocking.

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  • Spotted a mouse in the house. I took a photo, and although he didn't say cheese, I could tell he was thinking it.

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  • I was listening to a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.
    I said to the guy next to me: “That lizard’s really funny.”
    He replied: “That’s not a lizard, it's a stand up chameleon.”

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  • The three little pigs' dad told lousy bedtime stories.
    He was such a boar...

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  • What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
    Irrelephant.

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  • How do you turn a duck into a soul singer??????
    You put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers.

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  • I'mma write a documentary about a family of whales. It'll be a podcast.

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  • Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day.
    Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.

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  • Lizards are just 4 wheel drive snakes.

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  • I often wonder if horses notice the meaner rodeo cowboys and put them on their...
    ...buckit list.

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  • The least interesting pig of the species is the bore.

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  • What happens when a cow stops shaving?
    It grows a moostache.

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  • Every time the doorbell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner ~ he’s a boxer.

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  • A man leads a horse by the bridle, on the road. A guy asks him.
    -Man where are you taking that horse?
    -To the vet.
    -Horse is sick?
    -No.
    -Blind?
    -No?
    -Lame?
    -No.
    -Not eating anymore?
    -No.
    -Then why taking the horse to the vet?
    -Its his horse.

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  • The pirate ship crewed by cats would have been more successful...
    but ther was a mewtiny.

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  • Was going to buy an exotic spider from the pet shop, then I realised I could get one cheaper on the web.

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  • How does a spider go into battle?
    Well armed.

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  • Caught a glimpse of a bird's nest today.
    I was just finches away.

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  • I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.

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  • What's a cat's favorite color?
    Purrple.

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  • Where’s the best place to find out about chickens? In a hencyclopedia.

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  • What do you get when you cross a bear and a cow?

    I don't know but i wouldn't try to milk it.

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  • Lots of cows struggle to put on weight. The problem is, they don't eat full meals - they are usually grazers.

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  • Why did the dog want to go to yoga classes?
    He was really ma-stiff.

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  • Do you know what animal has the dirtiest most cussing mouth in the world?
    A bird, they have fowl language!

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  • Why don't fish skip school? They might get caught.

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  • Two spiders got married and bought their first home.
    I was so happy for the newlywebs.

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  • I have been keeping bees for a few months now. I get quite a buzz out of it.

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  • What do you call an explosive monkey? A ba-boom.

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  • Wow, aren’t some animals amazing? Just passed a hospital, and a sign outside read ‘Guard dogs operate at this hospital’.

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  • How do fleas travel? They itch hike.

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  • Apparently to start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.
    It's the bear minimum.

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  • What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose? Hare spray.

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  • Why did the cat go to the vet? Because he said he wasn't feline fine!

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  • I own 2 crabs. One is happy and the other is grumpy. The happy one is crab A.
    The grumpy one is crab B.

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  • Did you know that if male sheep and llamas are put in the same field they fight?
    You end up with a ram-a-llama-ding-dong!

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  • Most common pig injury? Sprained oinkle.

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  • Where do cows go on a date?
    The moo-vies.

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  • My dog has a lot of potential. You just have to unleash it.

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  • My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...

    "Swarm."

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  • How do horses stay in such great shape?
    They keep a stable diet.

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  • Which kinds of snakes are found on cars? Windshield vipers!

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  • Q: How do bees get to school?
    A: By school buzz!

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  • A snail was mugged by two turtles. The police asked the snail, “What happened?” The snail responded “I don’t know! It all happened so fast!”

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  • Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
    The outside.

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  • Q: What is a giraffe's favorite fruit?
    A: Neck-tarines!

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  • The wild horses just got out of the barn! Be very careful; they’re unstable!

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More jokes about animals, insects and fishes on the following pages...