40+ birthday jokes that will make your day !



Do you guys know what i gifted my fav web series on its birthday?
I gave it a watch.

- TOP birthday joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

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  • For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.
    Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

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  • MYSTERY - Does anyone actually know what you should really do when people around you are singing 'Happy birthday to you'?

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  • What do you say when you give somebody a boomerang for their birthday?

    Many happy returns!

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  • I got my wife a vibrator for her birthday. She’s done nothing but moan ever since.

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  • Birthday gifts are rewards for not dying this year.

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  • A man walks into a seafood store carrying a trout under his arm.
    “Do you make fish cakes?” he asked.
    “Yes, we do,” replied the fishmonger.
    “Great,” said the man, “It’s his birthday.”

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  • I went to a really trendy nightclub the other night. The doorman said to me "Sorry mate, I can’t let you in, you've had too many!"
    I said "What, drinks?"
    He said "No, birthdays".

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  • Why did the birthday boy wrap himself in paper?
    He wanted to live in the present.

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  • How do pickles celebrate their birthday? They relish the moment.

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  • Pieces of popcorn always have the best birthdays. Why? Because they're always popping!

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  • How does the cat celebrate its birthday? By turning up the mewsic.

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  • What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake.

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  • What did the elephant want for his birthday? A trunk full of gifts.

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  • What does a turtle do on his birthday? He shell-a-brates!

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  • Don't get weird about getting older! Age is simply the number of years the world has been enjoying us!

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  • What did one candle say to the other? "Don't birthdays just burn you up?"

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  • What does every birthday end with? The letter Y!

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  • Birthdays are natures way of telling us to eat more cake.

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  • Why do candles love birthdays so much? They just wanna get lit!

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  • Birthdays are nice and all, but I think too many can kill you!

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  • Age is a relative thing. All my relatives keep reminding me how old I am.

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  • Wine improves with age. We improve with wine.

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  • After much dithering a woman summons the courage to ring her friend and sing Happy Birthday to her over the phone.

    Half-way through her rendition she realises she’s rung the wrong number.

    “Why didn’t you stop me when you realise it was a wrong number,” she asks the lady on the other end of the phone.

    “You need all the practice you can get!”

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  • Man to wife, “Blow out your candles and make a wish”.

    The wife does but a look of disappointment crosses her face.

    “What’s the matter,” he asks.

    “My wish didn’t work.” she replies.

    “How do you know already?” he enquires.

    “You’re still here.”

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  • A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.

    She rejects them all.

    “Well you tell me what you want then.”

    “I want a divorce.” she replies.

    “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

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  • Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed shouts, “You’ve forgotten what day it is haven’t you.”

    Man goes to work and confides to a colleague, “I think I forgot my wife’s birthday.”

    “Not a problem,” he replies. Just go out and buy her a beautiful new dress and a pearl necklace.”

    After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts.

    “Oh darling,” she replies, “ what a beautiful new outfit to pick my mother up from the airport in.”

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  • A man gives his wife an expensive bottle of wine for her birthday. After a few glasses the wife blurts out, “I love you”.
    The husband responds: “Is that you or the wine talking.”
    Wife: “This is me, I’m talking to the wine”.

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  • A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

    “Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”

    So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

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  • It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
    “Oh, I don’t know”, she said. “Just give me something with diamonds”.
    That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

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  • What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
    You can have your cake and eat it too.

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  • Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
    Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

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  • When’s your birthday?
    Juту 21st.
    What year?
    Every year.

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  • What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles?
    No cake for me… I’m stuffed!

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  • What do you always get on your birthday?
    Another year older.

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  • Why are birthdays good for you?
    People who have the most live the longest.

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  • Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes?
    Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

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  • What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?
    I Scream Cake.

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  • What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy?
    They only get to celebrate them in leap years.

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  • What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?
    Hoppy Birthday.

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  • When I asked my 99 year old nana what she wanted for her birthday, she replied, “The best present I could ask for is to be surrounded by my friends.”
    Well we’ve just got back from the cemetery and she doesn’t seem too happy.

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