100+ Brilliant Math Jokes that will make your day !

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

- Random starter math groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

• How do you turn six to nine?

Remove the "s".

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• Having trouble with fractions? Our helpline is open 24/7.

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• Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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• I once knew what mean, median and mode meant. Now I get mean and in a bad mode if I can't even define median.

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• 3 words to describe me
"Im not good with maths"

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• Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.

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• I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.

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• Guys….
y=mx+b jokes are great but at some point we’ll have to draw the line.

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• I had a scary joke about math but Im 2² to say it.

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• 0 cannot be nothing cos 0 is 1.

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• Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.

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• Geometry was invented in the 9th century by the Angle-Saxons.

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• The recipe said, “3 cubed pineapples”.
I thought, “I can’t afford to get 27 pineapples!!”

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• There are three types of accountants: those who are good with numbers and those who are bad with numbers.

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• Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

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• Let he who is without sin use cos or tan to calculate the side lengths of a triangle.

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• Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

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• An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar.
The first orders a pint of beer. The second half a pint, the third a quarter ad infinitum. The bartender just pours two pints and says "figure it out yourselves."

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• Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables.

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• A global study reveals that #7 and #13 are the most popular favorite numbers.
Maybe it's just me but I find them...odd.

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• I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3,5,7, and 9.
The odds were against me.

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• When I studied mathematics, I decided to specialize in subtraction because I wanted to make a difference.

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• Q: What do you call dudes who love math?
A: Algebros.

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• People might think I'm a bit of a square, but that just means I'm exactly right on every angle.

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• I once knew what mean, median and mode meant. Now I get mean and in a bad mode if I can't even define median.

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• Funny how a sphere has only one side but half a sphere has two.

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• Witch student: Curse these fractions!
Witch math teacher: You can't hexadecimal.

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• A statistician drowned whilst wading across a river.
Someone told him that on average it was three feet deep.

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• CAN YOU COUNT?
If you have a bowl with 6 apples and you take away 4, how many do you have? => the 4 you took!

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• The statistics professor treats her students like they are indeciles or out-and-outliers.

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• What animal is best at math?
Rabbits, they multiply fastest!

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• Why is eleven not an even number even though it ends with an even.
That's odd.

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• What do you call a rectangle that got into an accident?
Wrecked angle.

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• What did one math book say to the other math book?
Look buddy, I got my own problems.

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• The arrogant math teacher finally ate a slice of humble pi.

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• Found that the best way to use scissors to make a perfect paper circle is not to cut any corners.

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• Having trouble with fractions? Our helpline is open 24/7.

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• You know what's really odd?
Numbers not divisible by two.

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• Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi.

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• I’m a mathematician but I hate negative numbers.

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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• A 103 year old man was asked if he thought that he’d still be around for his 104th birthday.
"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

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• 3 words to describe me
"Im not good with maths"

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• 10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something.

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• If you get scared half to death, twice. Then you're 3/4 dead!

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• You really shouldn't be intimidated by advanced math…it's easy as pi!

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• Why was the math teacher late to work? She took the rhombus.

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• I think trigonometry is a sin, cos eventually you will start to worship the fallen angle they call sa-tan.

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• Mental math:
It's the thought that counts!

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• Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism.

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• A trigonometry book has been discovered on the planet Mars. Unfortunately, there were no other sines of life.

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• Why did the math teacher enjoy the park?

All the natural logs.

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• My new hobby collecting calculators is going well, have over 100 already. Amazing how quickly they add up.

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• There's only two things I'm really terrible at..

Maths.

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• I asked my dog what's two minus two.
He said nothing.

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• 3.14% of sailors are πrates.
3.14% of people in planes are πlots.
3.14% of of trees are πne trees.

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• Me: You should have used cosine here.

Son: Forgive me father for I have sin.

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• I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains... I wonder what the other half is for?

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It's the thought that counts.

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• I can't do a lot of math but I can do sum of it.

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• It's too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.

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• The recipe said, ‘Set the oven to 180 degrees’.

Now I can’t open it because the door is facing the wall.

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• He told me he's studying forensics
Big Deal.
I learnt it in grade IV . Its ten.

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• It was plane to see that the late Professor of Geometry was unparalleled in her field.

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• I have no respect 4 people who use numbers instead of words.

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• A statistics pun can be considered as mean.

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• Fun Fact!
Did you know that 3.14%
of all sailors are pirates?

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• Those without sin cannot be divided by the length of the hypotenuse!

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• You know what's odd?

Numbers you can't divide by two.

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• Dear mathematics. Stop asking to find your x. She has a new boyfriend.

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• Why didn’t 4 ask out 5?

Because he was 2 ²

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More Math Jokes on the following pages...