100+ Business, businessmen and stock market jokes.



Boss: How can we keep the office clean?
Me: By staying at home.

- TOP business joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • Underrated investing strategy:
    Know when a stock is going to go 1,000x. Buy it right before.

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  • Planning to start a jewellery business. If you want to help, give me a ring.

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  • How is the egg producing business?
    It's not all it's cracked up to be.

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  • I just bought a carpet company! It's a floored business.

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  • I bought some antique speakers.

    It was a sound investment.

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  • Seo продвижение заказать с продвинутым функционалом в мегалополисе Владивосток

    Первоклассный на сегодняшний день seo обеспечение. Это реальный комбаин в seo, решает разные задачи. Работает в много-потоке в системе есть свои прокси они считаются на сегодня наилучшими.

    Заходим по ссылке и зарабатываем

    [url=https://goo-gl.su/OUHL]Seo продвижение сайта программа[/url]

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  • A friend's business "Cooking with Spices" has not been successful. His bank have called in the bay leafs.

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  • Seo продвижение самостоятельно в городе Новосибирск

    Первоклассный на сегодняшний момент seo софт. Это настоящий комбаин в seo, может решить всякие задачи. Работает в много-потоке в программе есть свои прокси они считаются на сегодня эффективными.

    Идем по гиперссылке и зарабатываем

    [url=https://goo-gl.su/OUHL]Seo продвижение сайта программа[/url]

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  • I used to sell furniture for a living. I was doing well... until it finished. Because it was my own!

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  • I’ve started a pioneering business.
    I sell pie and earrings . . .

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  • I'm not sure if selling products to other countries is a good idea.
    I need an export opinion.

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  • An vegetable growing friend’s business has gone into liquidation. They make smoothies.

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  • A friend has gone into business fixing car ignitions. It’s a start up.

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  • Did you hear about the constipated financial planner, he couldn't budge it.

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  • I started my own garbage business, i'm now filthy rich.

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  • I hear the wine industry is just crushing the grape industry!

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  • Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.
    It's also It's biggest import.

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  • The bathing suit company started making underwire bikinis until it started to affect the bottom line.

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  • There once was a company that was doomed because nobody in the company had any foresight into the future. It was a non-prophet organization.

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  • I've started a deer cloning business to make a quick couple of bucks.

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  • Company mergers expected in 2021:
    1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
    2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
    3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
    4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
    5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
    6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
    7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
    8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!
    And finally....
    9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

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  • I’ve started a lawn cleanup business.
    I’m really raking in the cash.

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  • I just got my permit to harvest shrimp in the Antarctic. Now I have a licence to Krill.

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  • As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
    ~ John Glenn...

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  • Opening a new shadow puppet theatre.
    Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.

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  • A friend of mine used to shave lions and sell the fur.
    It was his mane income.

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  • I used to sell cookware but that didn't pan out. So I sold underwear for a brief time.

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  • If you want to start a music company, you’d better have a sound business plan.

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  • A local bank is introducing a cash machine built in to a tree. If it’s successful, they might expand to other branches.

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  • - My friend has gone into the sandwich business selling Cheese & Ham.
    - On a roll?
    - Absolutely, business is booming!

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  • I am trying to start a business, recycling chewing gum, but I am having trouble getting it off the ground.

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  • Since I set up my business selling religious figurine fireworks, my prophets have been rocketing.

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  • I'm planning on starting a jewellery business, if you want to help give me a ring.

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  • I asked the garbage man, how’s business? He said it stinks, but it’s picking up.

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  • Opening a new shadow puppet theatre.
    Business plan says we’ll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.

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  • Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for kitchens. It was counterproductive.

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  • We had an important problem to deal with, so we formed a committee.
    Now we have two problems.

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  • Water company going through a liquidity crisis.

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  • I'm thinking of going into the balloon business. Costs may be inflated, but I hear there's lots of expansion potential.

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  • A Project Manager is someone who THINKS nine women can have a baby in ONE month...

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  • My hamburger business
    got started from
    the ground up.

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  • Holy shit!
    Famous donut shop closes after operating for more than 50 years. The owner commented, "I just got tired of the hole thing..."

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  • Your call is important to us...

    Please enjoy this 45 minute flute solo 🤬

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  • What’s a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

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  • My bonsai tree business is doing so well I can now afford to move into smaller premises!

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  • Insurance companies are warning campers that if you get your tent stolen during the night you won t be covered.

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  • Just started my own vacuum cleaner business,
    things are picking up nicely.

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  • If you get a loan at a bank you pay it for 30 years. If you rob a bank, you’re out in 10 years.
    Follow me for more financial advices...

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  • A woman walks into a Kalgoorlie accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
    The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."
    He gets her name, address etc. And then asks,"What's your occupation?" "I'm a prostitute," she says.
    The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that."
    The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
    "No, that still won't work... Try again."
    They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite poultry farmer."
    The accountant asks, "What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
    "Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year."
    Tax man says"Poultry Farmer it is then."

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  • I want to start a company that makes both coffins and condoms
    The slogan would be:" We've got you covered whether you cuming or going"

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  • I saw a sign that said “Watch for children,” and I said, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

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  • I travel around the country giving seminars on the beneficial features of dried grapes.
    I’m in the business of raisin awareness.

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  • I’m thinking of starting my own business as a watchmaker.
    That way I can set my own hours.

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  • My friend is trying to convince me to invest in his sword making business.
    He makes some very good points.

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