Blonde jokes - only the best ones.



Q: Why did the Blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

- TOP blonde joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.

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  • Two blondes drive to Disneyland, they see a sign that reads Disneyland left so they turned around and went home.

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  • My new blonde girlfriend woke me up this morning and said "Hey, how about a early morning blowjob?"
    I said, "You're crazy, you don't even have a penis." and rolled back to sleep.
    Honestly , These blondes, thick as shit some of them.!!!

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  • Two blondes walking down the sidewalk. A man says hey you look alike, are you sisters? The girls just laughed and said, no, we're not even Catholic.

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  • As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
    The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
    The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener.

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  • Why don’t blondes talk during sex?

    Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.

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  • A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
    He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
    After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:
    The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
    The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
    The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
    The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
    The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

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  • - Why do blondes hold their hands tightly over their ears?
    - Because they’re desperately trying to hold in a thought.

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  • - Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
    - She was desperately trying to make up her mind.

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  • - How do you confuse a blonde?
    - You don’t. They’re born that way.

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  • - What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
    - The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up.

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  • - Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears?
    - To avoid getting hearing AIDS.

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  • - What’s the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
    - You can unscrew a lightbulb.

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  • - Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
    - Someone told her drinks were on the house.

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  • - What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
    - The more you bang them, the looser they get.

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  • - How do you confuse a blonde?
    - Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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  • Three blondes walk into a building.
    You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.

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  • - Why don’t blondes talk during sex?
    - Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.

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  • - Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?
    - Because they say “concentrate.”

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  • - What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    - “I wonder if it’s mine.”

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  • - Why do blondes love boob jobs?
    - It’s really the only job they’re qualified for.

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  • - Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
    - Because the box said it was for “2 to 4 years.”

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  • - How do you keep a blonde busy?
    - Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.

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  • - Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
    - So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills.

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More blonde jokes on the following pages...