40+ Vegan and vegetarian Jokes that will make your day !



Can I tell you a vegan joke?
I promise it won’t be cheesy.

- TOP Vegan joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • Why do vegetable lovers love practicing yoga regularly?

    They always want to find their inner peas.

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  • I flunked out of vegan culinary school, so I never got my Broccolaureate.

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  • I got up at 5am, ran 5 miles, and then ate a veggie smoothie for breakfast... I don't remember the rest of the nightmare.

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  • I'm making vegetarian roast beef.
    I'm not vegetarian, but the cow was.

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  • Dad: Here’s a burger for lunch.
    Vegetarian: Oh no, thanks I’m a vegetarian.
    Dad: It okay this burger is plant based.
    Vegetarian: Really! What plant is it from?
    Dad: It originates from the meat packers plant.

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  • There's that moment when you put your steak on the grill, and your mouth waters from that amazing smell. I wonder if vegans feel the same when you mow the grass? 🤔

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  • Just wanna make it clear that "vegan" does not mean "anti-vaxxer". That's a different kind of crazy.

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  • I became a vegetarian recently.
    Biggest missed steak of my life.

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  • Ignore the vegans... they are just hungry. :)

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  • I put my dog on a vegan diet...
    He’s eaten 3 so far.

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  • I put my dog on a vegan diet...
    He’s eaten 3 so far.

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  • Vegan.....a old world term for a person that can't hunt, fish or make fire.

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  • Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.

    But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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  • - Why did the ghost decide to become a vegan?
    - Because it's super natural.

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  • - What is the difference between being a vegan and suffering from the novel coronavirus?
    - In the case of COVID-19, the loss of sense of taste is only temporary.

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  • - What is a vegan Viking called?
    - A Norvegan.

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  • Veganism is like Communism..
    They are both fine, unless you like food.

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  • My son is taking part in a social experiment where he has to wear a t-shirt saying "GO VEGAN" for 2 weeks and see how people react.
    So far, he has been punched, spit on and a bottle thrown at him!
    I'm curious to see what happens when he goes outside.

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  • - What's the toughest part of being a vegan?
    - Apparently keeping it to yourself.

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  • - Do you serve vegetarians here?
    - Of course, how would you like them cooked?

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  • A vegetarian has a carrot sticking out of one ear, celery out of the other, and a mushroom up his nose. He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong. The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."

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  • I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

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  • I eat meat and I feel bad for the animals, but I mean.. run faster I guess and stop tasting good.

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  • I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

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  • Vegan Mom: Honey, Animals are living breathing things and we can't eat them!
    Son: If animals aren't supposed to be eaten, then why are they made out of meat?

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  • Q: What do you call a vegetarian who starts eating meat?
    A: Someone who lost their veg-inity!

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  • Q: Why did the vegetarian cross the road?
    A: Because she was protesting for the chicken, MAN!

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  • Q: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow?
    A: One if nobody's looking.

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  • Q: What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea?
    A: A Salad Shooter.

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  • Q: What is the Native American word for vegetarian?
    A: "Poor hunter!"

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  • Q: How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. Everybody knows they can't change anything.

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  • Q: What do you call a fascist vegan?
    A: Lactose intolerant.

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  • Q: Why are vegans detrimental to the earth?
    A: Because they produce immense amounts of methane.

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  • Q: Did you hear about the vegan Zombie?
    A: He went to the insane asylum and only ate the vegetables!

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  • Q: Why do gay vegetarians only eat hummus?
    A: Because they are hummusexuals?

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  • Q: What did Cher say to the vegan?
    A: I Got Tofu babe.

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  • Q: What do yo call a vegan post-punk band?
    A: Soy Division.

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  • Q: What do Tofu And Dildos Have In Common?
    A: They're Both Meat Substitutes!

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  • Q: What do you call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?
    A: A non-dairy creamer.

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  • Q: Why are all lesbians vegetarian?
    A: Because they don't eat meat.

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  • Q: Why do vegans give good head?
    A: Because they are used to eating nuts.

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  • How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two. One to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.

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  • - What does a vegan zombie eat?
    - GRAAIIIIIIIINS.

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  • I met this woman today who said she recognized me from a vegan group, but I'd never met herbivore.

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  • How can you tell if someone is vegan?
    Don't worry. When you offer them meat, they will say 'no thanks', then you can relentlessly ask them questions why, then you can get upset and accuse them of going on about it.

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  • Can I tell you a vegan joke? I promise it won't be cheesy.

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  • "No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.

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More vegan and vegetarian Jokes on the following pages...