200+ Jokes about food, cooking, snacks, drinks and diet.



I was tempted to try chocolate covered crickets, but I was afraid of getting a stomach bug.

- TOP food joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • I remain very skeptical and suspicious of organic foods.
    I keep hearing about people dying from natural cause.

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  • IF HUMAN BEANS LET ME DOWN
    I'LL RICE UP AND SHOW THEM HOW STRONG I YAM.

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  • Whenever I feel sad, I drink apple juice. It makes me appy.

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  • Went to the dressing room. Couldnt find the mayonaise.

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  • Salt is just angry sugar.

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  • Just switched from eating venison to pheasant.
    Absolute game changer.

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  • The lack of gingerbreadwomen
    is due to pastryarchy.

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  • Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.

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  • I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get doughnuts.

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  • I don't care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.

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  • When I say "there is nothing to eat" I mean there is nothing I like.

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  • Please remember that for every Rich Tea biscuit, there are thousands of Tea biscuits living in abject poverty....

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  • I ordered 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup.
    It weighed won ton.

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  • Why did the pie cross the road? Because it was meat & potato.

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  • What is yellow and white and travels at 500 miles per hour? A pilot's egg sandwich.

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  • What is a frog’s favourite flavour of crisp? Croaky bacon.

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  • I can make coleslaw just by looking at a cabbage.
    I slaw it with my own eyes.

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  • I'm just saying that whoever wins a race with someone to the juice in the fridge...
    did beat them to the punch.

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  • I couldn’t work out how to hold a bag of pasta. Then the penne dropped.

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  • I applied for a job at my local sandwich making shop, when I got there, they said “ The roll had already been filled” …..

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  • What is the biggest joke about pineapple? That it goes on pizza.

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  • Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables? Because they can.

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  • I made fish tacos last night, but they just ignored them and swam away.

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  • How do you fix a broken pizza?
    With tomato paste!

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  • I made sushi at home for the first time. I substituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!

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  • I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

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  • What did the pizza say when it went to the gallery? "I never sausage a beautiful painting, it's the best I've ever seen".

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  • Egg salad is still chicken salad when you think about it.

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  • How do you know when tomatoes are good to eat? When they’re reddy!

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  • What's the perfect amount of time to microwave your popcorn?

    I can't tell you, it's pop secret.

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  • I really like eating sardines, anchovies and smelt. Guess I'm not a big fish eater.

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  • Is eating a pizza considered a square meal?

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  • Pita is one of my favorite flatbreads.
    It is second to Naan.

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  • For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.

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  • Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.

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  • About to cook asparagus for the first time. Does anyone have any tips?

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  • Did you hear about the cheese that saved the world?
    It was legendairy!

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  • What did the sushi say to the bumblebee?
    Wasabi.

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  • CHOCOLATE doesn't ask stupid questions, chocolate just understands...

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  • To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!

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  • What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

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  • Where do you learn all about ice cream? Sundae school.

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  • We've been married so long, we're on our second bottle of tobasco sauce.

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  • How much food did I have at the carnival? A Fair amount.

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  • My favorite health drink is a
    Neil Diamond smoothie.
    It has 3 ingredients, swede, carrots, lime.

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  • What did one pickle say to the other when it was having a bad day?
    Dill with it!

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  • The old saying is "You are what you eat"
    I should eat a lot more mushrooms cause I want to be a fun guy.

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  • Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.

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  • What kind of cheese would you use to hide a pony ?
    Màscarpone.

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  • I sometimes order undercooked steak. But it’s rare.

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  • There was a race in my kitchen last night.
    The lettuce was ahead, the tomato was trying to ketchup, and the water was still running.

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  • If you spend $4 on smart water, it's not working.

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  • Q: Where does expired milk go?
    A: The CREAMatorium.

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  • What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

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  • Did you hear about the fight last night at the fish and chip shop?
    The fish got battered.

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