Collection of French Jokes.



Please welcome and enjoy our exclusive français collection selected carefully to spice up your life and brighten up your day with gallic humor.

- Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?
    Claude.

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  • Our daughter told us that she needed to be treated like a princess... So I married her off to a random stranger to strengthen the alliance with France.

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  • I set up a chain of businesses in Paris...they became frenchised.

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  • I know a guy from Paris who can only count up to 7.
    He has a wheat allergy.

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  • The French customs officer confiscated my crate of snails and now I have less cargo.

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  • My friend was very rude when I told him I didn't know what c'est la vie meant.
    He said, "That's life."

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  • We have to respect and praise the courage of the French, as they discovered that snails (escargot) are edible! 🐌

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  • To kill a French vampire you must drive a baguette through its heart...
    It may sound easy,
    but it's *pain'staking*.

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  • Introductions in French....
    by Gem Appale

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  • Once upon a time in France, 3 kittens were playing on a frozen pond. Suddenly, the ice broke and un, deux, trois, cat sank!

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  • A group of French executioners were arguing about how they should do the job. One said 'We should chop them off at the ankles'. Another said 'We should chop them off at the knees'. One said 'We should chop them off at the hips'. Another said 'We should chop them off at the waist'. Another said 'We should cut them off at the chest'. But don't worry, it all came to a head eventually.

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  • Warning!!! never buy Jeans in France as they’ll either be Tulong or Toulouse.

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  • I'm afraid of French chefs.
    They give me the
    crepes.

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  • I met this beautiful woman in France. We hit it off really good. We started dating and Eiffel for her.

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  • Nothing in French starts with an R and ends in an N.

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  • Jump from a bridge in Paris? Are you in Seine?

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  • BREAKING NEWS.

    A Frenchman has fallen through the roof of a Bakery in Paris.

    An emergency services spokesman said
    "He is in a load of pain"!

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  • Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?
    Because un oeuf is un oeuf.

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  • To kill a French vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart. Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.

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  • La pire position sexuelle c'est quand t'es allongé en dessous et qu'au dessus il n'y a personne...🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂

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  • I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games.
    She said, "Wii."

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  • How is a tick and the Eiffel Tower similar?
    They’re both Paris sites.

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  • Why do you get served only one egg for breakfast in France?
    Because, in France, an egg is un oeuf.

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  • Maman, je peux avoir du chocolat ?
    – Il y en a dans le placard, va donc te servir.
    – Mais Maman, je peux pas, tu sais bien que je n’ai pas de bras…
    – Pas de bras, pas de chocolat !

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  • Toto rentre à la maison après sa première journée à l’école primaire.
    La maman :
    -- Alors Toto, tu as appris beaucoup de choses aujourd’hui ?
    Toto :
    -- Pas assez en tout cas, ils veulent que j’y retourne demain.

    Toto comes home from his first day of elementary school.

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  • La maîtresse demande à Toto, lors d’une leçon sur les rimes, de donner un exemple.
    Toto dit alors :
    – Dimanche, je suis allé à la chasse aux grenouilles,
    et dans le ruisseau j’avais de l’eau jusqu’aux… genoux.
    – Mais Toto ça ne rime pas du tout !
    – C’est pas ma faute, y’avait pas assez d’eau !

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More French jokes on the following pages...