30+ Hilarious Girlfriend and Boyfriend Jokes That Will Really Give You A Lift.



Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

- TOP relationship joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • Me: Where do you want to eat?
    Her: Wherever you pick is fine.
    Narrator: Wherever he picked was not fine.

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  • My girlfriend said I smell. I said "Of course I do, it's one of my 5 senses."

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  • I used to go out with a girl who’s left eye was missing.
    She was a right looker...

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  • My girlfriend said she needs time and space. I think she's calculating velocity. She's so smart.

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  • My girlfriend threatened to leave me due to my obsession with Monopoly. I've asked her for one more chance.

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  • My girlfriend asked me "if you were stranded on a desert island who would you most like to be with?" "My friend George" "Why?" "Because he's got a boat"

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  • My girlfriend and I met each other while running the London Marathon last year.
    It was a long-distance relationship.

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  • My boyfriend got bit in the forehead by a bee, he’s in the ER now. His face is all swollen and badly bruised. Luckily, I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel!!!

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  • “My girl lives in a town named Ridiculous.”
    “Ridiculous? Isn’t that silly?”
    “No, it’s Ridiculous.”

    * * * * *


  • The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”.

    * * * * *


  • “I’m not sure why my girlfriend’s father doesn’t like me.”

    “What was your first impression on him?”

    “I told him, she calls me daddy too.”

    * * * * *


  • Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod.

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  • My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

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  • Girl: asshole...
    Boy: I've been called worse before.
    Girl: Ha, like what? Boy: you're boyfriend.

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  • Girlfriend: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me.. Boyfriend: What a joke? Okay then, let's start with Kisses!"

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  • Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have common sense, very short figure!
    Girlfriend: What about Rest?
    Boyfriend: Well rest have GIRLFRIENDS!

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  • Boyfriend: "Life's a bitch, just like you."
    Girlfriend: "Actually life is short, just like your dick."

    * * * * *


  • Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend?
    Girlfriend: How funny?
    Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.

    * * * * *


  • My boyfriend is like my iPhone. I don't have one.

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  • Q: How does a boyfriend show he's planning for the future?
    A: He buys an extra case of beer.

    * * * * *


  • Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football?
    A: The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

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  • Q: What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common?
    A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.

    * * * * *


  • Q: What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common?
    A: They're always coming early.

    * * * * *


  • Q: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach?
    A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

    * * * * *


  • Q: How many ex-boyfriends does it take to tile a bathroom?
    A: Two - if you slice them very thinly.

    * * * * *


  • Do you know how to tell if your boyfriend is geting fat?
    He can wear your husbands clothes...

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  • Q: What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?
    A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked.

    * * * * *


  • Q: Why are Boyfriends like parking spaces?
    A: The good ones are already taken!

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  • Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a condom?
    A: Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!

    * * * * *


More Girlfriend and Boyfriend jokes on the following pages...