250+ Brilliant Human Resources and and Office Jokes Collection.



We have a guy in the office who we call "007".
0 work, 0 initiative, 7 bathroom breaks.

- Random starter work groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

    “Nervous?” asked the interviewer.

    “No. I always give 110%”.

    * * * * *


  • If you’re having work-related issues at the stables, contact Human Racehorses.

    * * * * *


  • I quit my job at the concrete plant.

    My job was getting harder & harder.

    * * * * *


  • I work in a tape factory. I want to quit but my boss won't let me. I guess I'm stuck here.

    * * * * *


  • My supervisor decided to fire me because my communication skills were weak. I didn't know what to say!

    * * * * *



  • FUN fact:
    In the Netherlands, workers can be absent for up to two years while receiving 70% of their salary as sick pay.

    * * * * *


  • Just got a job at the factory making telescopes.

    Things are finally looking up.

    * * * * *


  • Interviewer: can you explain this gap on your resume.

    Me: yes that is when I worked at the invisible ink factory.

    * * * * *


  • The coolest place I've ever worked at was a ice house.

    * * * * *


  • I work in a tape factory. I want to quit but my boss won't let me. I guess I'm stuck here.

    * * * * *


  • I fired myself from cleaning my house! I don’t like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job!

    * * * * *


  • My boss offered to allow me to work from home but I’m not remotely interested.

    * * * * *


  • My brother said he wants a job in a chocolate factory but has no experience. I told him "Just fudge it".

    * * * * *


  • My career plan is to become a great wit.
    I am already 50% of the way there.

    * * * * *


  • Stan works in a paper factory, where his responsibilities are twofold.

    * * * * *


  • Left my job as a Dressmaker as things were not as they seamed.

    * * * * *


  • Boss: Happy to be back to work?

    Me: This feels like a trap.

    * * * * *


  • "I hate working from home today!"
    -- George, 47, fireman

    * * * * *


  • My boss: You’re essential.

    My pay check: No you’re not.

    * * * * *


  • I have a very fine job at the flour factory, working second sift.

    * * * * *


  • Boss: Any takeaways from the client meeting?

    Me: I got his stapler and two rolls of toilet paper.

    * * * * *


  • My supervisor decided to fire me because my communication skills were weak. I didn't know what to say!

    * * * * *


  • Interviewer: what’s your biggest weakness?

    Me: not thinking of creative answers to silly interview questions, when we have already established that I am very qualified for this position and would be an asset to your company.

    * * * * *


  • After five years as Secretary of my local Ladder Association I've decided to step down.

    * * * * *


  • I can’t work full time because I have to water my plants.

    * * * * *


  • I went to a job interview today, they asked me why I left my last job, i said that the company relocated, but they didn't tell me Where.

    * * * * *


  • I called my boss a twat and he reduced my pay.
    Thus confirming my suspicions.

    * * * * *


  • HR says I’m no longer allowed to answer the phone with “for fuck sake, what now”.

    * * * * *


  • If you’re having work-related issues at the stables, contact Human Racehorses.

    * * * * *


  • Why did the trombone player get paid less than the drummer?
    He works on a sliding scale.

    * * * * *


  • The best part of working from home is, at lunch, you get to cry in your own bathroom.

    * * * * *


  • I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.
    It's shift work.

    * * * * *


  • Penguins are proof you can get a job you're not qualified for if you dress up.

    * * * * *


  • I got fired from the hot dog stand because I couldn't cut the mustard.

    * * * * *


  • I woke up this morning with trouble with my eyes. I couldn't see going to work.

    * * * * *


  • My resume reads like an oddly formatted apology letter.

    * * * * *


  • Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack.

    * * * * *


  • If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

    * * * * *


  • Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office.
    I’m on season 6 but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security.

    * * * * *


  • Boss texts me: Send me one of those funny dad jokes Me: I can’t I’m busy working. Boss: That’s hilarious. Do you have anymore?

    * * * * *


  • I would have e-mailed you sooner, but my cat ate my mouse.

    * * * * *


  • Some people work for free and are still overpaid.

    * * * * *


  • By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

    * * * * *


  • Interviewer: And have you ever had a non-profit job before?

    Me: Yes, all of them.

    * * * * *


  • - Who are those staff members who keep shrinking?
    - Oh, they're just the contractors.

    * * * * *


  • I once had a second job in a hool-a-hoop factory.

    But, It I still couldn't make ends meet.

    * * * * *


  • Five Keys To Workplace Success:

    1. Blame
    2. Coworkers
    3. For
    4. Your
    5. Mistakes

    * * * * *


  • Got fired from my job at the bakery today..owner caught me loafing! Its a real killer..Cause I really kneaded the dough!

    * * * * *


  • A guy at work claims he didnt steal the battery out of my calculator, but something just doesnt add up...

    * * * * *


  • Interviewer: Would you call yourself a hard worker?
    Me: Absolutely. I make almost everything harder than it has to be.

    * * * * *


  • Nothing worse than a speaker in an already long boring meeting saying "We'll get into that later."

    * * * * *


  • Meetings should have a button you can secretly press and if everyone presses the button the meeting suddenly ends.

    * * * * *


  • Group projects in school weren't meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

    * * * * *


  • A typical job interview is a conversation between two liars.

    * * * * *


  • I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience. That surprised me, I thought it was an entry level position.

    * * * * *


  • Group projects: one person does all the work. Everyone takes credit.

    * * * * *


  • My company is offering a time management class I desperately need, but I can't work it into my schedule!

    * * * * *


  • I’ve just seen my boss getting beaten up at work so I ran over to help…
    He didn’t stand a chance against 2 of us…

    * * * * *


  • After only a day I was fired from my job at the cheese factory. They said that I was always standing in the whey.

    * * * * *


  • Wow! So crazy that you didn't get my email. So weird. Let me send it again.
    *Me sending the email for the first time*

    * * * * *


  • Interviewer: great resumé, but can you explain the gap in your front teeth?

    * * * * *


  • I went for a job as a sandwich maker yesterday, but sadly no luck...... when i got there, the roll had already been filled....

    * * * * *


  • I used to work at a tampon factory, had to pull a few strings to get that job....

    * * * * *


  • I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

    * * * * *


  • Can anyone tell me where Jepardy is?
    I'm unemployed and they've just said on the news that there's 2000 jobs in Jepardy.

    * * * * *


  • I just completed anger management training.
    It really works.
    Management is really pissed at me now!

    * * * * *


  • I got sacked from my film set design job, I just left without making a scene.

    * * * * *


  • Me: Sir, my doctor has advised me to stay in bed.
    Boss: How long?
    Me: Just a normal sized bed..

    * * * * *


  • Quit my job at the lumber yard. Just got board.

    * * * * *


  • How do you know if the yoga clinic is hiring new people to work with them?
    They will have many open positions to fill in.

    * * * * *



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