100+ jokes about depression that will make your day !



Worry is like a rocking chair. You go back and forth, but get nowhere.

- Glenn Yarbrough.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • At first my life was depressing and miserable, but I have turned that around. Now it's miserable and depressing.

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  • Leaving the house is good for depression, bad for anxiety. Staying at house is good for anxiety, bad for depression.

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  • I need a day between every day to recover from the day before, and prepare for the day coming.

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  • Reality just called, so I hung up .

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  • I smoke weed to get high and for my depression.
    I'm killing two birds with one stone.

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  • Why was Indiana Jones depressed? His career was in ruins.

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  • My grief counselor died, but he'd done such a good job I didn't care.

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  • Depression Is Just Reverse Happiness.

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  • I've gotten rid of most of the emotional baggage I used to carry around.
    Now I just carry a griefcase.

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  • People mature when they go from "It's okay, don't cry" to "It's okay, cry".

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  • I went to the doctor because I was depressed over finishing crosswords too quickly.
    He told me not to get 2 down.

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  • I just heard the term "Toxic Positivity" and it feels so liberating to finally have a label for that vibe.

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  • After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
    going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she killed
    herself
    I started to feel a lot better.
    So I thought…Sod it….soldier on

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  • I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.

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  • I'm having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question.

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  • Roses are red, free will is a lie.
    Existence is a pain, I wanna die.

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  • Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.

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  • Why was the archeologist so depressed ?
    Because his whole life was in ruins.

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  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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  • Why did the Mexican take anxiety medication?
    For hispanic attacks.

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  • Did you hear about the depressed Swede?

    He wished he'd never been Bjorn!

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  • Gave my depressed friend a "JUST DO IT " t-shirt .
    Haven't seen him since

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  • Upgrading to the latest version of Microsoft Office can cure your depression.
    It really improves your Outlook.

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  • Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed.
    Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.

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  • How does an electrician cure depression?
    He uses shock therapy.

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  • You guys hear about the depressed plumber?
    He’s going through a lot of crap right now.

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  • Why were Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake depressed?
    Their careers were in ruins.

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  • Why did the depressed person put his booze in the elevator?
    He wanted something to lift his spirits.

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  • Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
    He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.

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  • Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life ?
    The Doctor only gave him 4 !

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  • Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.
    Because everything will get only harder.

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  • If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep...
    That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

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  • Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
    Because he has low elf esteem.

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  • Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.
    The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.

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  • How do depressed frogs die?
    They Kermit suicide.

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  • Why do depressed people make the best jokes?
    Cause they’re already dad inside.

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  • Why did the chicken with depression cross the road?
    To apply to KFC.

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  • I heard all the hair stylists are suffering from depression due to unemployment.
    They just want to like, dye.

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  • My doctor recently prescribed me some anti-gravity pills for my depression.
    They have been extremely up lifting.

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  • My medicine makes me depressed
    It's a sadative.

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  • Gravity is really depressing.
    It's always bringing everyone down.

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  • Why was the Calendar so depressed?
    He knew his days were numbered.

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  • Why was the circle depressed?
    She thought its life was pointless.

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  • I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
    I always need to console myself.

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  • A guy couldn’t get out of his bed in the morning because of depression. Then the depression woke up and said:
    -Honey are you awake?

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  • Q- Why was the little strawberry crying?
    A - His mom was in a jam.

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  • Suicide is never the answer. Suicide is the question .The answer is yes )))

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  • If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?
    The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo.

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  • Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies.

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  • Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing.

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  • Why can’t depressed people leave the maze?
    Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

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  • A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”

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  • I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s.

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  • I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

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  • What do depressed people and apple’s have in common?
    They both hang from trees.

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More jokes about depression on the following pages...