150+ Jokes about literature, books and famous writers.



I've been patiently waiting to get a book on how to commit suicide from the library but the last guy still hasn't brought it back.

- TOP books joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • I saw a list of 100 books you must read before you die, so as long as I avoid reading them I’ll live forever.

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  • How does Winnie-the-Pooh open his honey pots? With his BEAR hands.

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  • A pencil has been discovered that may have been one that Shakespeare actually used. Historians cannot yet confirm if it a 2B or not 2B.

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  • How many crime writers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it has to have a really good twist at the end.

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  • A Poet and a Philosopher walk into a bar ; after 4 Martini's there was no longer any rhyme nor reason to the evening,...🍸

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  • In re-reading 'The House of Seven Gables' for the 10th time, I still don't find Clark's name mentioned anywhere!

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  • I'm writing a book about all the things I should be doing.
    It's my oughtobiography.

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  • I think Peter Pan was Dutch, he was from the Neverland.

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  • Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.

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  • Just finished reading, “I Shall Return,” by B. Wright Bach.

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  • One of Shakespeare's original pencils is going up for auction. Problem is its very chewed, so nobody can tell if its 2b or not 2b.

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  • A guy published a book on how to create the ultimate basement.
    He hopes it will be a best cellar.

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  • Husband:Are you ready yet love? We need to leave now if we’re going to be on time to see Les Miserables.
    Wife: I’m coming dear, and I really wish you wouldn’t refer to our visits to my parents like that Pierre!!

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  • Shakespeare wrote all his plays with a pencil not sure if it was 2B or not 2B.

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  • Last year, I wrote a book on penguins.

    In retrospect, paper would have been easier.

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  • To make a long story short, I only read part of it.

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  • Dr. Watson - "What kind of school does that 9 year old go to?"
    Sherlock - "Elementary my dear Watson."

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  • I’m a writer. If I seem cold, it’s because I’m surrounded by drafts.

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  • Do you know the difference between fiction and reality? It's that fiction has to make sense...

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  • What did the rooster do to impress the hen? He wrote poultry for her.

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  • I was a bookkeeper for 10 years… the local libraries weren’t too happy about it.

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  • what outdoor game does Jekyll like?
    Hyde and seek.

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  • I went to the library today to find a new book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat, that went on a road trip together. The librarian said "It rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it is there or not?"

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  • I read a story about pig anatomy. It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.

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  • I couldn’t get a reservation at the local library.
    Know why?
    …wait for it…
    They were fully booked!

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  • Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
    She ran away from the ball.

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  • Got a book from the library on Stockholm Syndrome. Didn't like it at first, but by the end I thought it was great.

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  • My editor worked really hard on my book about Podiatry, especially the foot notes.

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  • I just read David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, not a mention about his magic tricks.

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  • My friend asked if I could help him write a bedtime story for his kids.
    I thought "what a novel idea".

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  • I just read that Little Red Riding Hood has just been found in a critical condition. Paramedics have stabilised her condition, but she's not out of the woods yet.

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  • Writing fairy tales can be a Grimm business!

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  • Why are Sherlock Holmes taxes so low? He's a master of deduction.

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  • Holmes, where do lemons come from?
    A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

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  • My father had very poor hearing. When I tried to ask him who Sherlock Holmes’ partner was, all he could say in reply was “What, son?”

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  • I’m reading a great book about an immortal dog – I’m finding it impossible to put down.

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  • I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig.

    It's not a beautiful poem, but it is very deep.

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  • I've just written a book on cats!
    Although it would have been so much easier if I'd written it on paper.

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  • What do you call a book written by a nun?

    Nun-fiction.

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  • Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants?
    They give him good case ideas.

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  • How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking.
    Jk! Rowling.

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  • What's a bee's favorite novel?

    The Great Gats-bee.

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  • Have you read the book 'The Ultimate Basement'?

    Should be a best cellar...

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  • I’ve got a very old pencil, that was once owned by William Shakespeare. But he chewed the end, so I can’t tell if it’s 2b or not 2b.

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  • Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

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  • I'm currently reading a book called: 'Swimming the English Channel'...
    by Francis Near.

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  • I'm killing off a couple of characters in the book I'm writing.

    It should spice up my auto-biography.

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  • I gave up writing a book on swear words in braille, it just felt wrong.

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  • "The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man."
    ~T.S. Eliot

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  • Teacher: “If Shakespeare were alive today, what would he be most famous for?”

    Pupil: “His Age.”

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More Jokes about Literature, fun with books on the following pages...