150+ trolling jokes that will make your day !



If I get pushed in the pool this summer, I'm not swimming back up. Enjoy your murder charge.

- Dumbest trolling joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • If you ever hear me breathe deeply it's not because I'm annoyed it's because I forget to breathe sometimes.

    * * * * *


  • First you told me to be myself now you're telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind, woman!

    * * * * *


  • Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade's gonna suck.

    * * * * *


  • Can't spell STUPID without U right in the middle!

    * * * * *


  • I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.

    * * * * *


  • Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

    * * * * *


  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.

    * * * * *


  • Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"

    * * * * *


  • Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn't know you did that for fun.

    * * * * *


  • I passed a guy with a cup sitting outside a 7-Eleven. When I walked out, he said, “Any change?”
    I said, “No, you look the same as when I walked in.”

    * * * * *


  • I had nothing to do and I wrote in front of the condo: "I slept with your wife!" Everyone got agitated.

    * * * * *


  • Advice please: is it okay to ask my wife what time tea is ready,
    Or should I wait until she's finished cleaning the car ?

    * * * * *


  • I'll be nicer, if you will be smarter.

    * * * * *


  • If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.

    * * * * *


  • My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my A/C bill is.
    I told him, “My door is always open”.

    * * * * *


  • I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.

    * * * * *


  • DMV: Are you an organ donor?

    Me:. Ma'am I don't even own a piano.

    * * * * *


  • If you're out running in jeans, I'm gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.

    * * * * *


  • You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...

    * * * * *


  • A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It's okay, I think we lost him."

    * * * * *


  • Answering machine message: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

    * * * * *


  • If u show her u care she will keep u as a spare.

    * * * * *


  • My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it.
    So I bought her a candle.

    * * * * *


  • I saw an ant in the kitchen so I placed a sugar cube in front of her.
    She inspected it and went to tell her friends, then I quickly hid the sugar cube coz I wanted them to think she's a liar.

    * * * * *


  • Saw a van that was covered in dirt at Westlands shopping centre & someone had written
    "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van."
    So I wrote; "She is...when you are at work!"

    * * * * *


  • To the person who lost their iPhone on the bus this morning...Can you please stop calling my new phone..It's fcuking annoying me.

    * * * * *


  • I'm sorry we fought.

    I hate it when you're wrong.

    * * * * *


  • After hearing about the vegan special, I told our waitress I have a medical condition which prevents me from being a vegan. She asked, Really? I said, it’s a flesh eating disease. She walked away.

    * * * * *


  • Me: I have many hidden talents.
    Someone: Like what?
    Me: I don't know. They're all hidden.

    * * * * *


  • I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.

    * * * * *


  • Conspiracy theories and moon landings are very much alike. They're all fake.

    * * * * *


  • If someone tells you ”you look better with a beard” then they are basically saying that you look better the less they can see your face.

    * * * * *


  • You and I are just different. And by different I mean you're stupid.

    * * * * *


  • What is the worst part of being vegan?
    Getting up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

    * * * * *


  • My girlfriend just asked me,When we go to Egypt,
    Can we go on a camel? I said, No,
    It would take ages to get there on a camel.

    * * * * *


  • My Daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party.
    So she invited over all her friends and I made them clean the house.

    * * * * *


  • Wheres the remote for the tv?

    Me - In a remote location.

    * * * * *


  • If your problem can’t be solved by me saying “damn” and nodding a lot, then you shouldn’t come to me for help.

    * * * * *


  • Me - “We’re having a baby!”
    Friend - “Aww, is it a girl or a boy?”
    Me - “Yes, what else could it be..?”

    * * * * *


  • My sister asked me to bring her something hard to write on, now she is mad at me! Don’t know why. Sand is really hard to write on!

    * * * * *


  • My girlfriend awoke and said she dreamed she was a small sailboat...
    I replied, "well, you've always been a little dinghy!"

    * * * * *


  • Just started an online exaggeration club.
    So far it has nearly 3 million members.

    * * * * *


  • This bloke asked me if I’d any idea where he could get a new wig from.
    I said, not off the top of my head...

    * * * * *


  • Wife: "I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is?"
    Scaring men is easy.

    * * * * *


  • My Wife said, "Did you eat my chocolate eclair in the fridge?" I said, "No. I ate it in the living room."

    * * * * *


  • I think hitchhikers are really friendly,
    I've gone past three in the last hour and they all gave me the thumbs up.

    * * * * *


  • I rang up a local builder and said,
    I want a skip outside my house,
    He said, I'm not stopping you.

    * * * * *


  • I bought a book about the dangers of deforestation.
    The first page read,
    "You're not helping"

    * * * * *


  • My Significant Other: I have changed my mind.

    Me: Thank God! Does the new one work?

    * * * * *


  • Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

    * * * * *


  • Judge: “Where do you work?”
    Defendant: “Here and there.”
    Judge: “What do you do for a living?”
    Defendant: “This and that.”
    Judge: “Take him away and lock him up.”
    Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”
    Judge: “Sooner or later.”

    * * * * *


  • "I recognise you, you're a member of the Denial Society." "No I'm not".

    * * * * *


  • I'll never forget the look on the cashiers face after she scanned the bird seed and I asked her, how long does it take for the bird to grow.

    * * * * *


  • Can't wait 'til I'm old enough to pretend I can't hear.

    * * * * *


  • A man is in court charged with selling phoney anti-aging drugs. The judge says to him, "Have you been charged with this crime before?"
    The man replies, "Yes sir, once before in 1846."!!

    * * * * *


More trolling jokes on the following pages...