70+ Sleeping jokes that will make your day !



What should you do if you can't get to sleep?
Lie on the edge of the bed, you'll soon drop off!.

- TOP sleep joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • I sleep in the past tense, the rest is history.

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  • I almost put my foot on the bathroom sink earlier, then remembered I'm not a millennial.

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  • I put music on when I go to bed so I can get a sound sleep.

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  • Me: Finally gets 8 hours of sleep.
    My neck and my back: Congrats but you did it wrong.

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  • Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.

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  • Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of... I wake up.

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  • When I go to sleep
    I smell of strawberries
    that's because
    I wear pyJAMas.

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  • I wish I was a little kid so I could take a long nap and people would just be proud of me.

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  • If you see someone over 40 out in public after 9pm, they 100% took a nap earlier in the day.

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  • I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.

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  • I’m thinking of starting a group for insomniacs if anybody’s up for it.

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  • When I was a kid I remember I fell asleep in the couch and woke up in the bed, now I fall asleep in the couch and wake up on the floor.

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  • Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression, and helps you live longer.
    UNTIL THEY START TO SNORE.

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  • If your pillow fort hasn’t got a Nerf gun armory, then you’re not taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.

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  • I wake up every morning with the joy and excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.

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  • I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in the other night. My dreams have never been clearer.

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  • I go to bed with my headset on so I can get a sound sleep.

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  • Fell asleep on my smartphone the other day.
    I had downloaded a napp.

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  • When life gets you down, just remember:
    It’s never too early or too late for a nap.

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  • My wife asked me if I took a nap.
    I said, I have no idea. I was asleep!

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  • If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.

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  • My favorite thing about naps is that I don't have to talk to people during them.

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  • Anger, Denial, Bargaining, Acceptance, Depression... The 5 stages of waking up.

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  • What do you call a sleep walking nun?
    A Roman Catholic.

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  • People say 'go big or go home' like going home is a bad thing. Hell yeah I wanna go home and take a long nap when I get there.

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  • Why does the clown always have a stiff neck?
    Because he sleeps funny.

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  • I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

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  • Overthinking yourself to sleep is the adult version of a bedtime story.

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  • I had a dream I was a plumber. It was just a pipe dream.

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  • Who needs drugs when you can be delirious from going 48 hours without sleep?

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  • I slept so badly last night I started reading the dictionary.
    By 4am I was past caring...

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  • I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.

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  • I missed my nap today,
    I slept right through it.

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  • If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.

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  • Fell asleep at the muffler shop again. Woke up exhausted.

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  • Up at 5am, 8km run completed, got home, prepared a vegetable smoothie for breakfast...
    Don't remember the rest of the dream...

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  • Insomnia is very common, try not to lose any sleep over it.

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  • If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I'd totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.

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  • I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life's mysteries... like how exactly does paper beat rock?

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  • I wake up every morning with the joy and excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.

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  • I get blamed 40% of the time. The other 60% I'm asleep.

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  • For years my wife complained about my snoring, and for some $2 earplugs, I’ve managed to sort it out. I can’t hear her moaning now.

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  • The average sleep required by an average person is ‘five minutes more’.

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  • I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid.

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  • Sleep is death without the responsibility.

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  • Mike Tyson sleeps with a nightlight…not because he’s afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mike Tyson.

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  • Me: “Let me sleep” – Brain: “lol, no, let’s stay awake and remember every stupid decision you made in your life.”- Me:”Okay”

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  • “My brain during the day: “Potato, potato, ching chong potato” – My brain during the night: “I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here and allowed us to provide a perfect climate to sustain human life.”

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  • I’ve stayed up all night trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.

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  • Wife: “You told me so many bad things in your sleep last night”
    Husband: “Who was asleep?”

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  • My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa...
    I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping...
    ...with a really angry bear somewhere close by...

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  • My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.
    Damn near poked my eye out.

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  • I'm so good at sleeping.
    I can do it with my eyes closed.

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  • Did you hear about the little girl who was sent to prison for not going to sleep last night? She was charged with resisting arrest!

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  • Did you hear about the parents who called their baby 'coffee?' It kept them up all night!

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More sleeping jokes about sleep on the following pages...