40+ Disgusting, wicked and nastyy jokes.



My coprolite collection has gotten so big that I’m known as “The Man of a Thousand Feces.”

- TOP disgusting joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • By the way - why do dogs lick their own balls?
    Because they can.

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  • What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhoea?
    Bravefart.

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  • I spend my weekends farting in libraries and then shushing people that complain.

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  • What’s the difference between a dad and a car?
    Eventually the car will run out of gas!

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  • Did you hear about the guy who vomited while skydiving? It's all over town.

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  • Be careful in Hereford swimming baths! They now have a chemical in the water that turns red if a man pees in the baths and blue if a woman pees in there. Me and the miss's were mistaken for the red arrows last night.

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  • Success is like a fart.

    It only bothers people when it's not their own.

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  • One proctologist's decision to choose his specialty was just the fecal finger of fate.

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  • Beware of the deodorants with instructions that say "remove the top and push up bottom".
    They could at least make them round.

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  • 3 necrophilliacs where talking About how long they prefer a person to be dead before they have sex with them. 1st guy," I like them to be fresh dead, yes." 2nd guy, " I like them 3 days dead, just stinking real bad." 3rd guy says, " I prefer 3 weeks dead." "Why?"
    the other 2 exclaim. "Because no matter where I poke, I get penetration!

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  • Did you hear about the Nun who never bathed? She had a filthy disgusting habit.

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  • Apart from humans, the only animal that enjoys having sex is a dolphin.
    I had to shag a LOT of animals to find that out.!!!

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  • I took a urine test at the doctor’s office yesterday.
    Man, my kleptomania is out of control!

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  • I go to the zoo to watch the monkeys wanking, but they don't seem to like it.

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  • I was delivering leaflets on flatulence awareness.
    Unfortunately I let one rip.

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  • It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.

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  • Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.

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  • The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it.
    Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.

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  • What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    Finding half a worm.

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  • Girlfriend after sex: how did you get so good at eating pussy? Boyfriend: my mom taught me.

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  • My wife and I farted at the same time.
    We're stinkronized.

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  • Its better to cum in the shower, than to shower in the cum.

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  • I read somewhere smelling Rosemary increases memory by 70% !!
    Don't know why she slapped me .

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  • Why did the baker have brown fingers??
    Because he kneaded a poo.

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  • Yesterday I went rock climbing and the guy above me kept farting.
    It was by far the worst ass scent I’ve ever had to deal with.

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  • Happiness comes from within that's why it feels good to fart.

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  • Does the lab technician who has to analyse stool samples enjoy their job, or do they just go through the motions ?

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  • I try to avoid public restrooms. A lot of shit goes down in there.

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  • George found Tim, lying beside the road after a car accident. Tim was crying hysterically.

    George stopped and ran to him.

    *"Tim! Are you all right?"*

    Sobbing, Tim moaned,

    *"Look at my new car!"* pointing to it, wrapped around a tree.

    *"Hey, man. Don't cry. You can always get another car."*

    *"But look inside the car."*

    George did and said,

    *"Aw, dude, that's terrible. But don't cry! You can always get another girlfriend."*

    Tim wailed,

    *"Look inside her mouth..!!"* 😶🙄

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  • "It's considered impolite to lick your knife when you've done!"
    "I dont understand, why?"
    "Because you're a surgeon!"

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  • My mother caught my brother masterbating when he was very young...In disgust she shouted " Save it until ur 21"
    when he turned 21 he had 5 mason jars full..

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  • My wife put her hair in a bun this morning...
    she’s got some weird eating habits...

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  • Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
    A. The taste!

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  • A young Irish gay man decides it's time to come out to his mother
    'I've got some news to tell you mammy. I'm gay'
    'Really, son. Well that's a bit of a shock, but whatever makes you happy makes me happy. But can I ask you two questions?
    'Er, okay.'
    'Do you like that there cocksucking. Getting a big hairy cock in your mouth and sucking it like a lollipop?'
    'Yeah, sometimes'
    'And do you like that there rimming. Getting your tongue up into some other man's hairy arsehole and having a good rummage around?'
    'Well, not every night, but I've done it a few times'
    'Ah, well, thats fair enough son. Just don't ever complain about the taste of my fookin cooking again!'

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  • I asked my taxi driver if I could leave him some tequila and fried chicken.
    He said sure, so I threw up.

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  • Gaseous clouds have been detected around planet Ur.anus.

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  • If you're having sex with a pregnant chick and you feel like you're getting head at the same time, you probably should stop.

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  • I just banged my head.
    Took me ages to get that flexible.

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  • My Wife: My gynaecologist says I can't have sex for a month.
    Me: Well, what did your proctologist say?

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  • Hey female grammar Nazis, question: Would you rather miss a period on twitter, or in real life?

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  • I love cooking children and dogs...but I hate using commas.

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More disgusting, wicked and nasty jokes on the following pages...