Hilarious jokes about GHOSTs that will make your day 🤪!



Where does a ghost shop for alcohol?
At Total Wine and Spirits.

- Random starter ghost groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.

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  • When Ludwig von Beethoven died in Vienna, Austria in 1827 he was buried at the city's central graveyard.

    After 3 days some people who walked by his grave notice there was a strange noise in the air. Something was wrong.

    After 6 days more and more people were talking about that and it became topic in the journal, and everybody was thinking that it would be a ghost or some curse.

    After 7 days the citizens decided to call the priest to check out what was going on in there.

    So a big crowd went to the cemetery to see what the priest would do to find out what was happening.

    When the priest standed next to Beethoven's grave he said to everyone not to talk out loud so he could listen to the misterious noise.

    10 seconds passed and he talked to people:

    - "Don't be afraid, women and men. This is not a ghost exactly."

    - "What do you mean?!" - Said one of the men.

    - "Can't you hear? It's not a noise. It's Beethoven's 5th Symphony." - Answered the priest.

    - "So why is it playing now? Beethoven is dead, isn't he?"

    - "Relax. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

    * * * * *


  • Ghost hunters never find ghosts because the ghosts keep ghosting them ghostily.

    * * * * *


  • Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Dishes
    Dishes who?
    Dishes the ghost of Sean Connery.

    * * * * *


  • What do you call the ghost
    of a chicken?

    A poultry-geist!

    * * * * *



  • The pottery scene from Ghost but it’s just us making guacamole.

    * * * * *


  • In my version of “A Christmas Carol”, I get visited by the ghosts of hangovers past, present and future to learn the value of hydration.

    * * * * *


  • I crossed a Turkey with a ghost...........
    Yep you got it Poultrygeist...........

    * * * * *


  • My wife loves to be wooed so whenever we have a date night I have to dress up as a ghost.

    * * * * *


  • Why did the ghost go to rehab?
    He couldn't handle his boo's.

    * * * * *


  • Did you hear about the teenage ghost who lay on the couch all day?
    It was a case of paranormal inactivity.

    * * * * *


  • What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.

    * * * * *


  • Why can't Ghosts have Children?
    They have Hollow Weenies!

    Why can't Frankenstein have Children?
    His Nuts are in His Neck!

    * * * * *


  • Why don't zombies eat ghosts?
    Because they taste like sheet.

    * * * * *


  • girlfriend: I'm seeing someone behind your back.
    me: *believes in ghosts* is it my grandpa ?

    * * * * *


  • Bought a boomerang off a ghost,
    hope it doesn't come back to haunt me.

    * * * * *


  • What is a ghost's favourite exercise?
    Deadlifting.

    * * * * *


  • Not sure why anyone would move to Casper, WY.
    It's a ghost town.

    * * * * *


  • Q: What is a ghosts favorite position in soccer?
    A: Ghoul keeper.

    * * * * *


  • What do you call a ghost fart?
    A spirit bomb.

    * * * * *


  • What does a ghost do when he's hungry?
    Go ghost-ry shopping.

    * * * * *


  • There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you'd have no idea.

    * * * * *


  • Q. What is it called when one ghost consumes another ghost?
    A. Canni-boo-lism.

    * * * * *


  • Ghost hunters never find ghosts because the ghosts keep ghosting them ghostily.

    * * * * *


  • I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman working there if they had any ghost costumes.
    She said "We don't sell those, I'm afraid."
    Silly woman. They're not *that* scary....

    * * * * *


  • When do flowers become ghosts? When they've rose from the dead.

    * * * * *


  • My grandfather would talk to ghosts who’d tell him what size clothes to wear, he was a medium.

    * * * * *


  • Side chicks are getting leftover Halloween candy for Valentine’s Day
    Her:”Why u give me ghost shape candy?”
    Him:”Cuz you my Boo”

    * * * * *


  • Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Dishes
    Dishes who?
    Dishes the ghost of Sean Connery.

    * * * * *


  • What kind of plant do ghosts like to hide behind?
    BamBOO!

    * * * * *


  • What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?
    I Scream Cake.

    * * * * *


  • If you die high, do you just stay high as a ghost forever?

    * * * * *


  • My dad just asked me, “Do you believe in ghosts?” Bit of a daft question seeing as he’s been dead ten years.

    * * * * *


  • What do you call the ghost
    of a chicken?

    A poultry-geist!

    * * * * *


  • Son: Dad is our house haunted?
    Dad: May be, but Im not sure.
    Son: But the maid told me last night ghosts are not real
    Dad: Run, we dont have a maid.

    * * * * *


  • Why don't monsters eat ghosts?

    They taste like sheet.

    * * * * *


  • Do not drink with ghosts, they can’t handle their boos..

    * * * * *


  • 2 men were walking home after a Halloween party & decided to take a shortcut through the cemetary just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetary they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping sound coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear they found an old man with a chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. Holy cow Mister, one of them said after catching his breath. You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing, working so late? Those fools, the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

    * * * * *


  • Where does a ghost shop for alcohol?
    At Total Wine and Spirits.

    * * * * *


  • Why don't monsters eat ghosts?

    Because they taste like sheet..

    * * * * *


  • Q: What happens when a ghost drinks boos?
    A: They get sheet-faced.

    * * * * *


  • What does Italian ghost eat?
    Spookghetti

    * * * * *


  • When Ludwig von Beethoven died in Vienna, Austria in 1827 he was buried at the city's central graveyard.

    After 3 days some people who walked by his grave notice there was a strange noise in the air. Something was wrong.

    After 6 days more and more people were talking about that and it became topic in the journal, and everybody was thinking that it would be a ghost or some curse.

    After 7 days the citizens decided to call the priest to check out what was going on in there.

    So a big crowd went to the cemetery to see what the priest would do to find out what was happening.

    When the priest standed next to Beethoven's grave he said to everyone not to talk out loud so he could listen to the misterious noise.

    10 seconds passed and he talked to people:

    - "Don't be afraid, women and men. This is not a ghost exactly."

    - "What do you mean?!" - Said one of the men.

    - "Can't you hear? It's not a noise. It's Beethoven's 5th Symphony." - Answered the priest.

    - "So why is it playing now? Beethoven is dead, isn't he?"

    - "Relax. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

    * * * * *


  • I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost. I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door!

    * * * * *


  • My house is haunted by the ghost of an angry chicken.
    It’s a poultrygeist!

    * * * * *


  • - Why did the ghost decide to become a vegan?
    - Because it's super natural.

    * * * * *


  • - What does a zombie get when it bites a ghost?
    - A mouth full of sheet!

    * * * * *


  • - "What did the ghost say to his valentine?"
    - "You look so BOOtiful."

    * * * * *


  • What's do European ghosts eat?
    Ghoulash!

    * * * * *


  • A ghost walks into a bar, the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”

    * * * * *


  • Q: What is Oprah Winfrey's ghost called?
    A: Phantom of the Oprah. 👻

    * * * * *


  • A ghost walks into a bar
    " whiskey please" he said
    Barman replies " sorry we dont serve spirits" 😎

    * * * * *



More ghost jokes on the following pages...