200+ Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes - coolest man ever 😎!



Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

- Random starter Chuck Norris groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • The Earth’s rotation is caused by Chuck Norris’s morning jog.

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  • Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

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  • Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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  • M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't complete online forms because he doesn't submit.

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  • There are no such thing as Chuck Norris jokes! Only Chuck Norris facts!

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  • Chuck can cut a knife with hot butter.

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  • Chuck Norris can talk to liberals and they actually listen. Then they apologise.

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  • Chuck Norris worked as a car salesman , and sold a car to the owner of the dealership on his first day.

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  • James Cameron wanted to cast Chuck Norris for the role of The Terminator but Chuck Norris wasn’t interested in doing a documentary.

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  • When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.

    The weights do.

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  • So I bought Monopoly: Chuck Norris edition. The only problem is he already won.

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  • Ever notice there has never been a hurricane named Chuck. Just imagine the devastation.

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  • When Chuck Norris was a kid, he played the floor is lava inside active volcanos.

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  • Chuck Norris is the only human alive that will out live Keith Richards.

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  • Bought some Chuck Norris toilet paper. Ended up returning it because it wouldn’t take crap from anyone.

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  • Chuck Norris once flew around the world;

    On a kite.

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  • Chuck Norris can cook 2 minute noodles in...
    1 minute!!!

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  • Chuck Norris got an A on his essay on how to describe courage… he wrote his name.

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  • Chuck Norris once drank boiling water, and then spit out ice cubes! That's how cool Chuck Norris is.

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  • Chuck Norris's shirts are 200% cotton.

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  • Chuck Norris can reheat McDonald's fries and they taste good!

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  • Chuck Norris is the only man alive able to start a fire with 2 ice cubes.

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  • Chuck Norris does not have an ESC key on his keyboard, because nothing escapes Chuck Norris.

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  • The Earth’s rotation is caused by Chuck Norris’s morning jog.

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  • At Chuck Norris' house, his wife leaves the toilet seat up!

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  • Chuck Norris won the tour de France on a bike with no chain.

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  • John wick killed 3 people in a bar with a pencil that he borrowed from chuck Norris.

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  • Tony Bennet left his heart in San Francisco… yeah… right where Chuck Norris removed it from his chest!

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  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a gun under his pillow. The gun feels much safer now.

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  • When Hunter Biden tried to sell Chuck one of his paintings, Chuck said, “Show me the Monet!”

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  • Chuck Norris can't see himself in a mirror, because there is only one Chuck..

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  • Chuck Norris passed his driving test, from the passenger seat!

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  • Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.

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  • Coronavirus wears a mask to protect itself from Chuck Norris.

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  • Super Heroes read Chuck Norris comic books.

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  • Chuck Norris got fact-checked by facebook, he sent facebook to facebook jail.

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  • Chuck Norris can decline the End User License Agreement and still download a program on his computer!

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  • Chuck Norris once looked into Medusa's eyes and Medusa turned to stone!

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't complete online forms because he doesn't submit.

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  • Chuck Norris typically works 40 Hours a day.

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  • Chuck Norris’ rotary phone has WiFi.

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  • Chuck Norris won the spelling bee with one letter.

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  • Chuck once dueled Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes forever!

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  • Chuck Norris once took a chicken egg and hatched an eagle.

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  • Chuck doesn't have to do what Simon says..

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  • Chuck Norris does not need to buy Bitcoin, he already has them all.

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  • Chuck Norris is the reason Bigfoot hides.

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  • Chuck Norris would only have to walk for President.

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  • Chuck Norris can put things back into their original packaging.

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  • When Chuck Norris walks into the ocean he doesn't get wet, the ocean gets Chuck Norris.

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  • There is no theory of evolution...only animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live!

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  • When Eric Bana gets mad he turns into the Hulk, when the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

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  • Chuck Norris wears sunglasses, to protect the sun from his eyes…

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  • Chuck Norris once ran a marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.

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  • Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse, he scrolls with a lion.

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  • Chuck Norris once heard nothing could kill him. So then he tracked down nothing and killed it.

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  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

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  • Chuck Norris can speak 25 different languages…at the same time.

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  • Chuck Norris once had a date with destiny. Now destiny won't quit calling him and stalking him on Facebook.

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  • When Chuck Norris visits your house, you become the guest.

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  • Chuck Norris once smoked a cigarette, and gave it cancer.

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  • Spilt milk cries over Chuck Norris.

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  • Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

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  • CHUCK NORRIS CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER AND MAKE IT DRINK!!!

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  • Chuck Norris walked into a swarm of angry bees and they gave him a free jar of honey.

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  • Chuck Norris was getting into real estate. Evidently he's only selling roundhouses

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  • Facebook crashed because Chuck Norris banned Mark Zuckerberg.

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  • If you can see Chuck Norris he can see you, if you can’t see Chuck Norris be afraid.

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