200+ Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes - coolest man ever.



Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.

- TOP Chuck Norris joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • Coronavirus wears a mask to protect itself from Chuck Norris.

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  • Super Heroes read Chuck Norris comic books.

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  • Chuck Norris got fact-checked by facebook, he sent facebook to facebook jail.

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  • Chuck Norris can decline the End User License Agreement and still download a program on his computer!

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  • Chuck Norris once looked into Medusa's eyes and Medusa turned to stone!

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't complete online forms because he doesn't submit.

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  • Chuck Norris typically works 40 Hours a day.

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  • Chuck Norris’ rotary phone has WiFi.

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  • Chuck Norris won the spelling bee with one letter.

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  • Chuck once dueled Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes forever!

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  • Chuck Norris once took a chicken egg and hatched an eagle.

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  • Chuck doesn't have to do what Simon says..

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  • Chuck Norris does not need to buy Bitcoin, he already has them all.

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  • Chuck Norris is the reason Bigfoot hides.

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  • Chuck Norris would only have to walk for President.

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  • Chuck Norris can put things back into their original packaging.

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  • When Chuck Norris walks into the ocean he doesn't get wet, the ocean gets Chuck Norris.

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  • There is no theory of evolution...only animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live!

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  • When Eric Bana gets mad he turns into the Hulk, when the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

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  • Chuck Norris wears sunglasses, to protect the sun from his eyes…

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  • Chuck Norris once ran a marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.

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  • Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse, he scrolls with a lion.

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  • Chuck Norris once heard nothing could kill him. So then he tracked down nothing and killed it.

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  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

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  • Chuck Norris can speak 25 different languages…at the same time.

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  • Chuck Norris once had a date with destiny. Now destiny won't quit calling him and stalking him on Facebook.

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  • When Chuck Norris visits your house, you become the guest.

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  • Chuck Norris once smoked a cigarette, and gave it cancer.

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  • Spilt milk cries over Chuck Norris.

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  • Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

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  • CHUCK NORRIS CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER AND MAKE IT DRINK!!!

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  • Chuck Norris walked into a swarm of angry bees and they gave him a free jar of honey.

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  • Chuck Norris was getting into real estate. Evidently he's only selling roundhouses

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  • Facebook crashed because Chuck Norris banned Mark Zuckerberg.

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  • If you can see Chuck Norris he can see you, if you can’t see Chuck Norris be afraid.

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  • Chuck Norris can tell his wife that she was wrong.

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  • Chuck Norris once took a CPR class; he brought the dummy back to life.

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  • Chuck Norris could run for public office as a Republican in Massachusetts and win.

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  • Bad Bad Leroy Brown was the baddest man in the whole dammed town until he bumped into Chuck Norris.

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  • When Chuck Norris calls customer service a representative answers before the phone rings.

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  • Chuck Norris once prank called 911, 911 called back and apologized...

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  • Santa goes to Chuck Norris' house on Christmas eve, to get all the presents he will deliver.

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  • Chuck Norris doesn't abuse Alcohol...He teaches it a FUCKing lesson!!!!

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  • The difference between superman and CHUCK NORRIS?
    Superman has a weakness.

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  • Before he starts a new job, CHUCK NORRIS needs to meet with HR to see if they're good enough to keep their jobs,

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  • Chuck Norris can strangle a man with a cordless phone.

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  • If Chuck Norris had been on the Titanic, the iceberg would have sunk.

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  • Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

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  • Chuck Norris' workouts created Global Warming.

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  • When Chuck Norris finishes his meal at a restaurant, the server leaves him a tip.

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  • Chuck Norris once won a downhill go cart race.......going uphill......in a wheelbarrow.......with a flat tire.

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  • Chuck Norris once taught a German Shepherd to bark in Spanish.

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  • Chuck Norris can speak braille.

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  • Once Chuck Norris was upset with a woman and he showed her his middle finger.
    Nine months later, she gave birth to a baby.

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