150+ Brilliant Jokes about programmers, programming and computers.



Why are linux geeks very introverted?
Because they never come out of their shell.

- Random starter programmers groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • She: My boyfriend is a programmer he will hack your world into Oblivion.

    The boyfriend: How to declare variable in HTML.

    * * * * *


  • A kid who just learnt alphabet must look at keyboard and think adults are idiots.

    * * * * *


  • Advice for people wanting to start programming :
    1- learn a difficult language first like html. Then python. But only learn the easy stuff
    2- call your self a programmer at all times.
    3- tell people you use Linux even if you don't
    4- never use google as a research hub. Always ask on the groups first .
    5- after you learn the easy basic post on every group who wants to learn python. People will think you are cool
    6- always use ALT+F4 to test your code. But only when it's done
    Follow me for more programming advice

    * * * * *


  • Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?

    It's a regular expression.

    * * * * *


  • If there's one software you used the most but didn't pay for, what was it and why is it Winrar?

    * * * * *



  • I have a PHP joke; but I am afraid that if I "POST" it, you won't "GET" it

    * * * * *


  • Sex is like software: For every one who pays for it there are hundreds getting it for free.

    * * * * *


  • If there's one software you used the most but didn't pay for, what was it and why is it Winrar?

    * * * * *


  • The box said 'Requires Windows 10 or better'.

    So I installed Linux.

    * * * * *


  • If my 'life' was a variable then I would take 'you' as the constant.

    * * * * *


  • The H in programming stands for happiness.

    * * * * *


  • “This one I’ll definitely remember.”

    *Me creating a new password*

    * * * * *


  • Data science be like:

    5% coding.
    95% waiting for your code to finish running.

    * * * * *


  • My laptop is cold.
    I think I left windows open.

    * * * * *


  • I’m trying my hand at computer hacking, but I think I need a larger machete.

    * * * * *


  • I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.

    * * * * *


  • I'm addicted to pressing the F1 key on my computer. I'm trying to get help.

    * * * * *


  • I’ve been working on a fitness app for insects.

    I’m still trying to work out the bugs.

    * * * * *


  • How does a nonbinary samurai kill people?

    They slash them.

    * * * * *


  • How much memory does a mountain goat have?

    About 4 legs of RAM.

    * * * * *


  • If you hold the Unix shell up to your ear...
    You hear the C.

    * * * * *


  • He: You are the ';' to my code.
    She: I code in Python.

    * * * * *


  • I've created a writing software to rival microsoft.
    It’s their Word against mine.

    * * * * *


  • “ Code is like humor. When you have to explain it, it’s bad.”

    * * * * *


  • 3 Rules of Programmer:
    1.If your code works don't touch it.
    2.If your code works don't touch it.
    3.If your code works don't touch it.

    * * * * *


  • Did you know?
    Stack overflow developers
    Developed the stack overflow without the help of stack overflow.

    * * * * *


  • Q: Why was the computer so tired after his road trip?
    A: He had a hard drive.

    * * * * *


  • She: My boyfriend is a programmer he will hack your world into Oblivion.

    The boyfriend: How to declare variable in HTML.

    * * * * *


  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

    * * * * *


  • "Computers in the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh only 1.5 tons."
    Popular Mechanics, 1949

    * * * * *


  • BEHIND every successful programmer
    There is no girlfriend.

    * * * * *


  • The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.

    * * * * *


  • If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?

    * * * * *


  • The “H” in “PROGRAMMER” stands for Happiness.

    * * * * *


  • Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.

    * * * * *


  • I do my best proofreading after I hit 'send'.

    * * * * *


  • Teacher: anyone with a red pen?
    Programmer: from stationery import red pen.

    * * * * *


  • I told someone a JavaScript Joke today. He did not React.

    * * * * *


  • How did the hacker escape the police?

    He just ransomware.

    * * * * *


  • Spiders are the only web developers in the world that enjoy finding bugs.

    * * * * *


  • Random pick up lines : I usually call APIs but if you give me your number, I might call you.

    * * * * *


  • Why are programmers confused by Christmas and Halloween?
    Because DEC(25) = OCT(31).

    * * * * *


  • I used my girlfriend's name as a variable in my code, she broke up with me.

    * * * * *


  • Why did C++ refuse to go out with C?
    Because C is classless.

    * * * * *


  • I only code 3 days a week: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow.
    - All Programmers

    * * * * *


  • "You don't become a good developer , you just become good at debugging with time"

    * * * * *


  • 🧒: will you marry me??💍💎
    👧: Noway
    🧒: sudo will you marry me

    * * * * *


  • If you kill a killer, the number of killer remains the same. So the trick is to kill the killer and then kill yourself.
    Follow me for more algorithemic solutions.

    * * * * *


  • Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?

    It's a regular expression.

    * * * * *


  • Many CIO's favourite band is the Black IPs.

    * * * * *


  • Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Missing semicolon
    On line 32.

    * * * * *


  • When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what his favorite version of Windows was he replied,
    "I still love Vista baby".

    * * * * *


  • It's a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors.

    * * * * *


  • Why are people from Norway so good at editing files in Linux?

    Their ancestors are vi-kings.

    * * * * *


  • An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.
    When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."

    * * * * *


  • Q: Why would you suggest programming to anyone?

    A: So he/she can enjoy programming jokes & memes.

    * * * * *


  • Tried changing my password to "14days" but it was two week.

    * * * * *


  • Age is not a number. it's Integer.

    * * * * *


  • Today I made my first Money as Programmer.
    I sold my laptop.

    * * * * *


  • Which way did the programmer go? He went data way.

    * * * * *


  • Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs.

    * * * * *


  • Corona is similar to programming languages.

    Every year, it evolve with new version and new features.

    * * * * *


  • Advice for people wanting to start programming :
    1- learn a difficult language first like html. Then python. But only learn the easy stuff
    2- call your self a programmer at all times.
    3- tell people you use Linux even if you don't
    4- never use google as a research hub. Always ask on the groups first .
    5- after you learn the easy basic post on every group who wants to learn python. People will think you are cool
    6- always use ALT+F4 to test your code. But only when it's done
    Follow me for more programming advice

    * * * * *


  • Can someone please tell me where the 'any' key is on a keyboard??

    * * * * *


  • - Why documentation is like sex?
    - Every programmer want it, very few have it.

    * * * * *


  • Me when working:
    10% coding,
    40% googling,
    50% thinking how to hack NASA using Photoshop.

    * * * * *


  • - First computer project that failed?
    - Tower of Babel. Excellent hardware, but devs used too many languages.

    * * * * *


  • - Q: What Do NASA Programmers Eat ?
    -
    -
    -
    _
    Launch.

    * * * * *


  • I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
    That was a trip down memory lane.

    * * * * *


  • In the binary world, a scale of 1 to 10 doesn't give you many options.

    * * * * *



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