150+ Brilliant Jokes about programmers, programming and computers.



3 Rules of Programmer:
1.If your code works don't touch it.
2.If your code works don't touch it.
3.If your code works don't touch it.

- TOP programmers joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • Q: Why was the computer so tired after his road trip?
    A: He had a hard drive.

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  • She: My boyfriend is a programmer he will hack your world into Oblivion.

    The boyfriend: How to declare variable in HTML.

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  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

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  • "Computers in the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh only 1.5 tons."
    Popular Mechanics, 1949

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  • BEHIND every successful programmer
    There is no girlfriend.

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  • The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.

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  • If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?

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  • The “H” in “PROGRAMMER” stands for Happiness.

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  • Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.

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  • I do my best proofreading after I hit 'send'.

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  • Teacher: anyone with a red pen?
    Programmer: from stationery import red pen.

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  • I told someone a JavaScript Joke today. He did not React.

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  • How did the hacker escape the police?

    He just ransomware.

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  • Spiders are the only web developers in the world that enjoy finding bugs.

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  • Random pick up lines : I usually call APIs but if you give me your number, I might call you.

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  • Why are programmers confused by Christmas and Halloween?
    Because DEC(25) = OCT(31).

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  • I used my girlfriend's name as a variable in my code, she broke up with me.

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  • Why did C++ refuse to go out with C?
    Because C is classless.

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  • I only code 3 days a week: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow.
    - All Programmers

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  • "You don't become a good developer , you just become good at debugging with time"

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  • 🧒: will you marry me??💍💎
    👧: Noway
    🧒: sudo will you marry me

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  • If you kill a killer, the number of killer remains the same. So the trick is to kill the killer and then kill yourself.
    Follow me for more algorithemic solutions.

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  • Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?

    It's a regular expression.

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  • Many CIO's favourite band is the Black IPs.

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  • Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Missing semicolon
    On line 32.

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  • When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what his favorite version of Windows was he replied,
    "I still love Vista baby".

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  • It's a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors.

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  • Why are people from Norway so good at editing files in Linux?

    Their ancestors are vi-kings.

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  • An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.
    When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."

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  • Q: Why would you suggest programming to anyone?

    A: So he/she can enjoy programming jokes & memes.

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  • Tried changing my password to "14days" but it was two week.

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  • Age is not a number. it's Integer.

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  • Today I made my first Money as Programmer.
    I sold my laptop.

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  • Which way did the programmer go? He went data way.

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  • Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs.

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  • Corona is similar to programming languages.

    Every year, it evolve with new version and new features.

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  • Advice for people wanting to start programming :
    1- learn a difficult language first like html. Then python. But only learn the easy stuff
    2- call your self a programmer at all times.
    3- tell people you use Linux even if you don't
    4- never use google as a research hub. Always ask on the groups first .
    5- after you learn the easy basic post on every group who wants to learn python. People will think you are cool
    6- always use ALT+F4 to test your code. But only when it's done
    Follow me for more programming advice

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  • Can someone please tell me where the 'any' key is on a keyboard??

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  • - Why documentation is like sex?
    - Every programmer want it, very few have it.

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  • Me when working:
    10% coding,
    40% googling,
    50% thinking how to hack NASA using Photoshop.

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  • - First computer project that failed?
    - Tower of Babel. Excellent hardware, but devs used too many languages.

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  • - Q: What Do NASA Programmers Eat ?
    -
    -
    -
    _
    Launch.

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  • I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
    That was a trip down memory lane.

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  • In the binary world, a scale of 1 to 10 doesn't give you many options.

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  • What’s a bad wizard’s favorite computer program? Spell-check.

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  • If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?

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  • Why do astronauts use linux?

    because you can't open windows in space.

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  • "What's the wifi password?"
    "snowwhiteandthesevendwarfs"
    "Why is the password so long?"
    "It said it requires 8 characters..."

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  • 10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1's and 0's 10) There are no 2's

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  • What do you call a computer smoking weed?

    High tech.

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  • How does a computer learn new things?
    Bit by bit.

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  • Q: What does javascript call his son?
    A: JSON 😬

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  • What does a programmer and a bank robber have in common?

    To fix the problem, sometimes you gotta flush the cache.

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  • What's a programmers favorite beat?

    An algo-rhythm!

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  • If you want a successful relationship then... make sure you have foreign key in second table

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