100+ fat, obese and chunky jokes.



EAT becomes FAT if you don’t draw the line.

- TOP fat joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • I went on two diets because there wasn’t enough food on just the one.

    * * * * *


  • What do you call a fat pineapple A pineapple chunk!

    * * * * *


  • SERVER: "Sorry about your wait."
    ME: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

    * * * * *


  • I hate long distance relationships. That's why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.

    * * * * *


  • How do you lose pounds without exercise and diet?

    Fly to the UK

    Get your money changed

    Spend your money.

    * * * * *


  • According to serving sizes tonight, I'm a family of 4.

    * * * * *


  • Brain cells die, skin cells die, even hair cells die.

    But FAT CELLS… must have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior because they seem to have eternal life.

    * * * * *


  • Q. What is the difference between a group of sea lions and frat boys at a kegger?
    A. The sea lions don't try to drive home.

    * * * * *


  • You can reduce your weight by one simple exercise of shaking your head horizontally.
    Do it when you are offered food.

    * * * * *


  • To the lad who stole my weight loss pills...
    You'll have nothing to gain.

    * * * * *


  • The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.

    * * * * *


  • It took a lot of willpower but I finally gave up dieting.

    * * * * *


  • Careful girls, fat guys just wanna get inside your pantries.

    * * * * *


  • My wife is on the Cyclops diet. She's always got one eye on the fridge.

    * * * * *


  • Husband: where is that body I fell in love with?

    Wife: Judging from the size of your belly, I think you ate it!

    * * * * *


  • They say the body is a temple... What I got is more of a bouncy castle.

    * * * * *


  • Does anybody use a pie chart to illustrate obesity numerical proportion ?

    * * * * *


  • My stomach is flat, just the "L" is silent.

    * * * * *


  • They say a jar of Nutella has 2164 calories. I don't care though I never eat the jar.

    * * * * *


  • I went to the gym to workout, and a group of buff guys walked past me and called me a fat loser.

    Technically they were right, because I lost a lot of fat.

    * * * * *


  • Why are fish so thin?
    Because they eat fish.

    * * * * *


  • What do you call all elephant who doesn't workout ?
    Elephat.

    * * * * *


  • I don’t understand why I can't lose weight.
    I thought dieting was a piece of cake.

    * * * * *


  • The human body is roughly 60% water.
    I'm not fat, I'm flooded.

    * * * * *


  • My girlfriend is on the Cyclops diet.

    She's always got one eye on the fridge.!!!!

    * * * * *


  • I once used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket.

    I flashed them at the policeman and he walked off in disgust saying, "Jesus, you need to go on a diet mate."

    * * * * *


  • I’ve finally gotten rid of all my Winter fat .... it’s all now Spring rolls!

    * * * * *


  • This liquid diet crap is a scam.
    I've been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I'm still fat.

    * * * * *


  • What do we want?
    A cure for obesity!
    When do we want it?
    After cake!!!!

    * * * * *


  • I don’t understand why I can't lose weight.

    I thought dieting was a piece of cake.

    * * * * *


  • I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I'm not an actor.

    * * * * *


  • Latest diet failed again!
    Now going to concentrate on getting taller.

    * * * * *


  • Why dud the dietician send her clients to the paint store?
    You could get thinner there.

    * * * * *


  • When you're a child, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" ....
    As an adult, not so much.

    * * * * *


  • Today on the news.
    Gym caught on fire.
    I guess it burn alot of calories.

    * * * * *


  • I hate it when I gain 15 pounds for a role, only to realize I'm not even an actor.

    * * * * *


  • Dr : you need to stop eating fatty .
    Me : you mean like junk , sugary , oily food .
    Dr: no fatty , you need to stop eating.

    * * * * *


  • Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm hungry or bored.

    * * * * *


  • I put the scales in the bathroom corner and that's where she will stay until the little liar apologies.

    * * * * *


  • How to lose weight: Turn your head to the left, and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise whenever offered food!

    * * * * *


  • I don't go swimming because it's never been 30 minutes after the last time I ate.

    * * * * *


  • I would like to lose weight but I hate losing.

    * * * * *


  • Finally my winter fat has gone...

    Now, I have spring rolls.

    * * * * *


  • Whoever sneaked the 's' in "fast food" was a real clever man!!

    * * * * *


  • I got a new high score today... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale.

    * * * * *


  • Just bought two donuts without sprinkles... Diets are hard!

    * * * * *


  • I was on a weight loss website and it asked me if I accept cookies.

    Is this a test?🤔

    * * * * *


  • You have so much inner beauty it's causing swelling.

    * * * * *


  • Im not saying my ex girlfriend was fat...
    But all my thoughts revolve around her.

    * * * * *


  • Your British momma is so fat...
    people think she is an American.

    * * * * *


  • Yo mama so fat...
    ...She been butt dialing people since the days of rotary phones!

    * * * * *


  • Your momma's so fat...
    ... no one can socially distance her.

    * * * * *


  • Years ago I used to work at the circus and we had some wonderful acts I remember the fat tattooed lady..
    Now they're fucking everywhere...

    * * * * *


  • In which city do fat people stay?
    Obesity.

    * * * * *


  • What did the infomercial actor say after realizing he was getting fat?
    Butt weight, there's more!

    * * * * *


More fat, obese and chunky jokes on the following pages...