50+ Jokes about gays, homosexuals and lesbians.



Please welcome and enjoy our exclusive homosexual collection selected carefully to spice up your life and brighten up your day with gay humor.

- Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • I've just realised why all the LGBT festivals always happen in the Summer.
    Because Pride comes before the fall.

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  • My gay friend canceled his trip to London when he found out Big Ben was a clock!

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  • A gay guy walks into the doctors office. He takes off his clothes for examination. When he takes his clothes off the doctor sees a Nicoderm patch at the end of his penis. The doctor says... "Hmmm, that's interesting...Does it work?" The man answers.. "Sure does... I haven't had a butt in 3 weeks!"

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  • What do you call a homosexual nun?

    Nun the les.

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  • The Bible says being gay is fine, as long as you're high.

    "A man who lays with another man should be stoned."

    - Leviticus 20:13 ESV

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  • Did you hear about the gay whale?.. No .. well legend has it.. that he attacked a ship and swallowed all the “seamen”.

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  • What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
    The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.....

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  • What do you call two lesbians in a cupboard?
    A liquor cabinet.

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  • Homophobia is bullshit! Let's just let homes get married.

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  • My sister has a severe nut allergy...

    She's a lesbian!

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  • Yesterday, I asked a dozen random people at the market what LGBTQ stands for...I never got a straight answer.

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  • My L‌‌esbian neighbours Jane a‌‌nd Caroline a‌‌sked m‌‌e t‌‌o h‌‌elp t‌‌hem c‌‌onceive a‌‌ c‌‌hild r‌‌ecently.

    They s‌‌aid t‌‌hey w‌‌ouldn't m‌‌ind i‌‌f w‌‌e d‌‌id i‌‌t t‌‌he o‌‌ld f‌‌ashioned w‌‌ay a‌‌s t‌‌hey w‌‌ere desperate to have a baby.

    For s‌‌ix m‌‌onths n‌‌ow w‌‌e've b‌‌een t‌‌rying b‌‌ut I‌‌ j‌‌ust d‌‌on't h‌‌ave t‌‌he h‌‌eart t‌‌o t‌‌ell t‌‌hem I‌‌ h‌‌ad a‌‌ Vasectomy l‌‌ast y‌‌ear.

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  • Two lesbians built themselves a wood-frame house.
    It was all tongue-and-groove, and not a stud in sight.

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  • - What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar ?
    - A Flamethrower!!!

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  • Q: What do homosexuals and mice have in common?
    A: They both hate pussy!

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY BAR WITH NO BAR STOOLS?
    A: A fruit stand.

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  • Q: TWO GAY GUYS WERE HAVING SEX WHEN THEY BOTH DIE AT THE SAME TIME. WHO GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
    A: The one who had his shit packed.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY COUPLE?
    A: TOGAYTHER.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY MIDGET?
    A: A lowblow.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY SCIENTIST?
    A: A homo-geneous.

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  • Q: HEAR ABOUT THE GAY ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED COP?
    A: He got so excited his first day on the Job he jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.

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  • Q: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HOBO AND A HOMO?
    A: A hobo doesn’t have any friends, but a homo has friends up the ass.

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  • Q. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GAY TRUCKERS?
    A: They exchanged loads.

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  • Q: WHAT DO DOCTORS PRESCRIBE FOR A SORE ASSHOLE?
    A: Bengay.

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  • Q. DID YOU KNOW 75% OF THE GAY POPULATION WERE BORN THAT WAY?
    A: The other 25% were sucked into it.

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  • Q. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE TWO HOMOSEXUAL JUDGES?
    A: They tried each other.

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  • Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY DINOSAUR?
    A: Mega-sore-ass.

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  • Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE HOMOSEXUAL LETTER?
    A: Only came in male boxes.

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  • Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE HOMOSEXUAL ELECTRON?
    A: Went around blowing fuses.

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  • Q: WHAT DOES A HOMO SAY TO ANOTHER GAY GOING ON VACATION?
    A: Can I help you pack your shit?

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  • Q: WHY DON’T GAYS SHOP AT SPORTS AUTHORITY?
    A: Because they prefer Dick’s.

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  • Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GAY VEGETARIAN?
    A: He still eats meat.

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  • Q: WHAT IS GAY PRIDE?
    A: A group of homosexual lions.

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  • Q: WHAT DOES ONE GAY SAY TO ANOTHER HOMO SITTING AT THE BAR?
    A: Do you mind if I push in your stool?

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  • Q. HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A NOVEL IS HOMOSEXUAL?
    A: The hero always gets his man in the end.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS AN ESKIMO AND A GAY GUY?
    A: A snowblower.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOUNCER IN A GAY BAR?
    A: Flame thrower.

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  • DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GAY RABBIT? He found a hare up his ass.

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  • Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE A HOMOSEXUAL?
    A: When you make Justin Bieber look straight.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY BOXER?
    A: Fruit Punch!

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  • Q: WHATS A HOMOS FAVORITE PLANET?
    A: Uranus.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ANNOYING GAY MAN?
    A: A pain in the arse.

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  • Q: WHAT DID ONE GAY SPERM SAY TO ANOTHER?
    A: How do we find an egg in all of this shit?

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  • Q: WHAT COMES AFTER 69 FOR GAY MEN?
    A: Mouthwash.

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  • Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GAY GUY WHO GOT KICKED OFF THE GOLF COURSE?
    A: He was playing with too many strokes.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A HOMOSEXUAL DENTIST?
    A: Tooth fairy.

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  • Q: HOW DO YOU FIT THREE HOMOSEXUALS ON ONE BARSTOOL?
    A: Turn it upside-down.

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  • Q: WHY ARE MOST POLITICIANS IN THE CLOSET OR GAY?
    A: Because they can only mandate.

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  • Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A GAY COWBOY?
    A: A Jolly Rancher.

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  • Q: WHY CAN’T GAYS DRIVE FASTER THAN 68MPH?
    A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.

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More jokes about gay guys, homosexuals and lesbians on the following pages...