200+ Grammar Police and Grammar Nazies Jokes - fun with syntax, spelling and punctuation 😎!



Why is there an L in Noel?

- Random starter grammar police groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • What’s the difference between marmelade and jam?
    I only know how to spell Jam.

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  • My mom bought me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.

    I couldn't find the words to thank her.

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  • Anyone else notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated” ?

    * * * * *


  • The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.

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  • The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron... which is ironic.

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  • The correct way to spell "hats" is HATS because it's all caps.

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  • I asked a pirate what makes him the angriest?

    he said when someone steals his p...

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  • I think it is fascinating that the word, NOEL, actually does have an L in it.

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  • I'm just pondering: Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?

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  • English will always be a problem to me,
    until I find that letter 'J' in soldier.

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  • The pronunciation of "PSALM" is "SALM"
    The "P" is silent!
    Like the "P" in swimming!

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  • An apostrophe and a comma decided to go for couples counseling. Despite the apostrophe being possessive, the comma didn’t want to end things.

    * * * * *


  • Today’s Grammar Lesson:
    “Getting married” is a phrase.
    “I am married.” is a sentence
    (but with the possibility of parole).

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  • I wish people would just stop verbing nouns!

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  • If you spell wrong, wrong, you haven't spelled it right, therefore it's wrong. But it is also not wrong, because it's not right.

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  • I forgot how to spell a word so I change the whole sentence to avoid using it.

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  • The word queue is weird... Why is -ueue making a queue behind the Q? Useless.

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  • Is passive-aggressive psycho two words or three?

    I want to get this Mother's Day card just right.

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  • Did you hear about the semicolon that broke the law? He was given two consecutive sentences.

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  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

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  • I was asked to define the word 'crumb' – it wasn't hard for me. I mean it was a piece of cake.

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  • A person who ends his sentences with a preposition is someone Im not a fan of.

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  • List of words containing "meow":
    meow, meowed, meowing, meows, homeowner.

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  • A man was found guilty of overusing commas. The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.

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  • Gonna start saying “duck it” in real life so the autocorrect bugs me less.

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  • Hey auto-correct, stop messing with my damn curse words. You mother forklift.

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  • Have you ever noticed “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle!

    * * * * *


  • For those who are Struggling with English:

    Don't = Do not
    Won't = Wo not

    Follow me for more advice.

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  • “Biff, use the word ‘demeaning’ in a sentence.”
    Oh, that’s easy. What is demeaning of life?”

    * * * * *


  • Double negatives are a no-no in English.

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  • Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

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  • Did you know that backwards spelled backwards is backwards?

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  • Anyone else notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated” ?

    * * * * *


  • What question can you never answer "Yes" to?
    What does "N-O" spell?

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  • People who confuse the words "burro" and "burrow" don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

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  • The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense.

    * * * * *


  • I used to mix up metaphors... but that ship has flown...

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  • Why does You begin with a Y & Why with a W? 🤔

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  • If you identify a UFO as a UFO, then it becomes an FO. Unless it has landed, then it is simply an O.

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  • You can remove any one letter from the word "seat" and still end up with a real word.

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  • There are two typos of people in the world.

    Those who always notice spelling mistakes, and those who don't.

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  • Auto correct ain't nothing to duck with.

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  • The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it.
    Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.

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  • Bad spellers of the world.....untie.

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  • Why can’t cyclops spell Hawaii?
    Because you need two eyes Глаза

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  • I'm starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I'll never ever use one again. I'm so excited about it. Yes.

    * * * * *


  • Texting typos can change your life.

    "Having a great time wish you were her"

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  • I won't have anything against the English language the day they find 'J' in SOLDIER.

    * * * * *


  • What is the center of Gravity? The letter V.

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  • Neither see nor sea has a C in it, but I can see both the C and the sea. However, I can’t see, but eye can see.

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  • Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.

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  • When you write misspelled backwards it's misspelled.

    * * * * *


  • I hate it when people don't know the difference between Ur and U'r.

    * * * * *


  • Some people think I shouldn’t worry about how paragraphs are aligned, but I think it’s justified.

    * * * * *


  • I used to think "caesarean" was spelt with an S until I looked in the dictionary and found it in the C section.

    * * * * *


  • He was put on trial by the Grammar Police and received a run-on sentence.

    * * * * *


  • The amount of people who confuse ‘to’ and ‘too’ is amazing two me.

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  • It makes me very uncomfortable that the word "Australia" contains three A's and all of them are pronounced differently.

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  • What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
    A literalist takes things literally.
    A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

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  • Genie: What is your final wish?
    Boy: I wish I were you.
    Genue: weurd but alrught.

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  • They say a QUEUE is just a Q, followed by four silent letters...
    But, they're just waiting their turn.

    * * * * *


  • I feel like as if for what that I sometimes but not all the time I use too many words in a sentence that I don’t really necessarily have to or need to.

    * * * * *


  • 'Sugar'
    is the only english word where 's' is pronounced as 'sh'...
    I'm quite sure.

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  • What's the best letter to have in summer? Iced T.

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  • If you need help with English,
    I'm hear!

    * * * * *


  • Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.

    * * * * *


  • The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

    * * * * *


  • A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

    * * * * *


  • Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

    * * * * *


  • I am the bestest at the English language.

    * * * * *



More Jokes for Grammar Nazi - fun with grammar, spelling and punctuation on the following pages...