Best positive thinking optimistic jokes.



Never trust your fears, they don’t know your strength….Keep Moving Forward !!!

- Positive Quote from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

    * * * * *


  • Words of Encouragement...
    If you ever feel like trash, remember...
    It's Garbage Can,
    Not Garbage Can't

    * * * * *


  • I've set my "life goals" to stuff I've already done so literally every day now I'm overachieving.
    It's all about perspective.

    * * * * *


  • Aspire to inspire before you expire.

    * * * * *


  • People say I’m having a midlife crisis but I can’t hear them over the sound of my new motorbike.

    * * * * *


  • I went to a positive thinking course ,when I got there it was half empty .

    * * * * *


  • Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?

    * * * * *


  • Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID.
    It always says “B positive”.

    * * * * *


  • Optimist thinks that the world he's living in is the best possible.
    Pesimist is afraid that it's really true.

    * * * * *


  • What is an Optimistic Vampires favorite drink?
    B Positive!

    * * * * *


  • What did the optimist say after losing control on the left half of his body?
    I'm all-right.

    * * * * *


  • "Optimist" is a person, who keeps his car's motor running...
    ...while his wife goes shopping.

    * * * * *


  • How many optimists does it take to change a lightbulb.
    None. They just find light in the darkness.

    * * * * *


  • Who are the most optimistic people in the world?
    The Jews, they don't know how much it's gonna grow but they still cut it.

    * * * * *


  • Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,
    While you were arguing over that glass of water, I drank it.

    -Opportunist

    * * * * *


  • Why did the optimist lose his job at the photographic processing lab?
    He couldn't focus on the negatives.

    * * * * *


  • What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?
    An optimist created the airplane; a pessimist created the seat belts.

    * * * * *


  • What did the optimist say when he was pushed off a storey building?
    so far so goo...

    * * * * *


  • I'm optimistically single.
    My bed is half full.

    * * * * *


  • The pessimist sees a dark tunnel, The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
    The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel, and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.

    * * * * *


  • How can you easily spot an optimist?
    An Older person buying green bananas.

    * * * * *


  • How can you tell an optimist from a pessimist?
    Ask them to pronounce OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE.

    * * * * *


  • An optimist is someone who brings a book to read for an eye dilation test.

    * * * * *


  • The optimist says the glass is half full.

    The pessimist says the glass is half empty.

    The engineer says the glass is over-designed for the quantity of water.

    * * * * *


  • Have I told you about the Russian optimist vs the pessimist?
    The pessimist says, " Things could not get worse."
    The optimist says, " Oh yes they can."

    * * * * *


  • A group of retirees meets in a Tel Aviv coffeehouse to discuss the world's many problems. One of them shocks his friends by announcing:
    - "I'm an optimist."
    -"Then why do you look so worried?"
    - "You think it's easy to be an optimist?"

    * * * * *


  • My teacher said that two positives can't make a negative.
    Yeah right.

    * * * * *


  • I'm really trying to spread positivity.
    But once I test positive I'm told not to spread it.

    * * * * *


  • Replace the negative with the positive.......
    and next time put the battery in right the first time.

    * * * * *


  • I was at the library the other day when I found a book called "The Power of Positive Thinking."
    I thought "What good could that do?" so I put it back.

    * * * * *


  • I was a bit depressed so I surrounded myself with positive people.
    Now I am at the hospital.

    * * * * *


  • 2019: Stay away from negative people.
    2020: Stay away from positive people.

    * * * * *


  • Jews can’t handle positive reinforcement.
    In school they tried giving me a gold star. No way was I falling for that again.

    * * * * *


  • Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19.
    The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.

    * * * * *


  • I have always thought of myself as a positive person.
    Now thanks to COVID-19 I have proof!

    * * * * *


  • What’s one thing that turned out positive in 2020 ?
    My COVID test.

    * * * * *


More positive thinking optimistic jokes on the following pages...