150+ Brilliant Rock-music, rock-bands and rockers jokes.



What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

- Random starter rock groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • Q: Why is being in a rock band like a palm job?
    A: The more you rock, the better you feel.

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  • The band 4 Non Blondes changed their name to 3 Non Blondes...
    Because the 4th one dyed.

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  • Starting a new band called Gravy and Onions. We'll play a variety of songs, but mostly cover Meatloaf.

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  • I will listen to Elton John’s “Rocket Man” until I finish mowing.

    I think it’s gonna be a long lawn time.

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  • I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD

    It cuts like a knife.

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  • I bought an Oasis GPS and now... ...all the roads I have to drive are winding.

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  • I went to a record shop and asked, “have you got anything by the Doors?” He said, “Yes, a bucket of sand, a mop and a brush”.

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  • If we can hurry things along a bit, the new Aerosmith documentary starts shortly and I dont want to miss a thing.

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  • I tried shipping a Bon Jovi album to my cousin for Christmas but it hasn’t been delivered.

    The tracking report keeps saying “oh, it’s halfway there”.

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  • A bunch of geologist friends of mine just started a rock group.

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  • Just letting you all know that the Beatles museum is now open 8 days a week.

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  • My dentist is originally from Boston.
    I hate going to see him, as you always know it's going to be more than a filling.

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  • Gene Simmons is writing a scandalous novel about his time in the band. It’s going to be a Kiss and tell book.

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  • A rock band donated a box of vegetables to the charity they were playing at. Well, except the drummer.

    He kept the beet.

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  • Can't stop thinking about how Robert Plant tried to sneeze for like a solid minute on Whole Lotta Love.

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  • I dreamed last night that I was on stage, singing "Shiny Happy People". I assume this dream occurred during REM sleep.

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  • I attended a rock concert performed by Styx and the Rolling Stones.
    I returned with broken bones.

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  • I used to be in a very heavy metal band. I played a lead guitar.

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  • What blink 182 failed to mention is that no one likes you after 23 either.

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  • I will listen to Elton John’s “Rocket Man” until I finish mowing.

    I think it’s gonna be a long lawn time.

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  • I joined a group named “Hotel California” and I didn’t like it. I tried to exit the group, but I was informed I could never leave.

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  • I went to a concert the other night. Though the admission was reasonable, I didn't care for the band and want my Nickelback!!!!

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  • I said to Mick Jagger ‘don’t eat that mouldy bread’. He said ‘I know, it’s only a rotten roll but I like it’.

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  • I went into a record shop the other day. I asked the fella at the counter if he had anything by The Doors? "Yes", he said. "Two fire buckets and an umbrella stand"

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  • Hard to believe the Beatles broke up over a guitar. John wanted Less Paul.

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  • Just letting you know that the Beatles museum is now open 8 days a week.

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  • My friend said to me: "Who is the best band ever?"
    I said, "Are they?"

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  • Crazy how we never looked at this photograph until Nickleback told us to..

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  • My wife asked me when I was going to stop quoting Stereophonics lyrics...
    I said "Maybe tomorrow..."

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  • NEWS FLASH: Dire Straits are reforming with a new lead singer, Chris Rhea. They've renamed the band Dire Rhea.

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  • Bloody Foreigner - coming over here, wanting to know what love is!

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  • I've been at The Clash concert for an hour and the band still hasn't come out.

    Should I stay or should I go now?

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  • My aunt used to sell candy at every ELO concert.

    She's a sweet talkin' woman.

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  • I know a lady who's a huge fan of The Cars.
    She's my best friend's girlfriend.

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  • I'm not a Huey Lewis fan, but I go to their concerts because my wife likes them.

    That's the power of love.

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  • My wife is worried that I'll be late to The Eagles concert.
    I told her to take it easy cause I'm already gone.

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  • The members of Fleetwood Mac have decided to break up.

    They've stopped thinking about tomorrow.

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  • Told my girlfriend I had the original Beatles 45 Ticket To Ride.

    But she didn't care.

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  • Whats a cows favourite Beatles song? Hay chewed.

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  • What do you call a mix of a Beatle and a fruit?

    John Lemon.

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  • My wife just won Rod Stewart concert tickets.
    I'm unable to attend, but her friend Maggie may go with her.

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  • I asked my girlfriend what her favourite Rod Stewart song was.
    She said “I don’t want to talk about it.” So I changed the subject.

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  • It turns out that 60's rocker Steppenwolf was an assumed name.
    He was born Toby Wild.

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  • I went to an AC/DC concert last night...it shook me all night long.

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  • I’m in a band called ‘The Defibrillators ‘. We are a revival band.

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  • My wife Alice just left me because I quote 1970's song lyrics all the time.
    And I don’t know why she’s leaving, or where’s she’s gonna go...

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  • I'll never forget giving Noel Gallagher his first guitar, he said to me, "What's that knob at the front for?"I said, "It's Liam, he's the lead singer."

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  • What’s Sisyphus’ least favorite band?
    Rolling Stones.

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  • Went to a Blur concert...
    couldn't see much.

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  • Kinda feel bad for guitars.
    They've been picked on all their lives.

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  • If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
    ~ Johnny Carson...

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  • Writing a song for Bon Jovi at the moment. I'm half way there.

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  • Why'd Robert Plant get kicked off the debate team?
    He had a tendency to ramble on.

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  • My wife is upset because The Rolling Stones had to cancel their concert. I told her, "You can't always get what you want."

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  • Son: Dad, do you have a favorite band?

    Dad: Yes.

    Son: Which band?

    Dad: Yes.

    Son: Did you even hear the question?

    Dad: Sure. Do I have a favorite band.

    Son: Yes.

    Dad: You got it. That's a terrific band.

    Son: The who's a terrific band?

    Dad: No. Yes.

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  • I have a feeling that my friend is a secret fan of the band Boston. In fact, it's more than a feeling...

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  • Why did Bono fall off the stage? He was too close to The Edge.

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  • I asked Freddie Mercury where I could find the Phrase "Continuous physical force exerted on an object" in the dictionary.
    He said, under Pressure!

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  • Music trivia fact: Guess Who sang American Woman.

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  • The average member of Def Leppard has 1.8 arms.

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  • I went to the counter at McDonalds to tell them there was something wrong with my Big Mac.

    Cashier: What seems to be the issue?

    I hold up the sandwich and the buns move like lips and sing: ‘Listen to the wind bloooow’

    Cashier: Sorry, sir. We accidentally made you a Fleetwood Mac.

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  • I was in a band during the 80s called The Prevention.
    We were better than the Cure.

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  • There's a song by the Beatles.
    I can't remember the name of it, but I remember the tune, like it was yesterday.

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  • A coworker asked if I like listening to INXS?... I said I only listen to music in moderations...

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  • I dreamt last night that I was back the 1990s...
    There I was, stranded in a desert and I thought I could see an Oasis...
    But when I woke... it was just a Blur

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  • * Knock, knock*

    - Who's there?
    - Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey
    - The Who?!

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  • I once went for a job interview to be the 4th band member of A-Ha but they refused to take on me...

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  • Living on a prayer is my favorite karaoke song, but when I try to hit the high notes...

    ...I only make it half way there.

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  • To clear up the Moody Blues lyric,
    does anyone know what the knights in white sat in?

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  • I lost my pet mouse Elvis the other night. He was caught in a trap.

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