250+ Brilliant Science, scintists and discoveries jokes.



I wanted to date an anthropologist but she had too many bones in her closet.

- Random starter science joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • Coconuts are mammals because they have fur and produce milk. Change my mind. 🥥

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  • Scientists are trying to find ways of harnessing more power from the sun but it wont happen overnight.

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  • Measurement Humor:
    Ratio of igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
    Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarse power
    Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
    365 days drinking lo-cal beer = 1 lite year
    2000 pounds of Chinese soup = won ton
    10 rations = decoration
    2 doctors = paradox
    Time between slipping and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond

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  • Albert Einstein, a busy man famed for his theory of relativity but I am still not sure where he got all his energy from.

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  • What is 1000 ×3000 ÷ 3?
    The winner gets 1 million 🤓

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  • FUN Fact:
    For one moment in time, you were the youngest person in the world.

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  • Here's a science question: If protons have mass, are they Catholic?

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  • FUN Fact:
    Hot water is more likely to break thick glass than thin glass. That's why test tubes are made of thin glass.

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  • When asked about my personal beliefs, I usually say that I believe in quantum physics, but I am uncertain.

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  • Someone threw a sodium compound at me. I think it was a salt.

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  • FUN fact:
    Pluto didn't even complete one revolution around the sun between its discovery and its declassification as a planet.

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  • I was surprised to find out that the 'element of surprise' is not there on the periodic table.

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  • How do you turn a three-dimensional printer into a four-dimensional printer?

    Just give it time.

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  • My ex says she needs some 'space' and 'time'. Is she calculating velocity?

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  • Earth is mostly water. If that water isn't carbonated that means earth is
    flat. Check mate.

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  • I’ll tell you what I know about subatomic particles, very little

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  • Charged particles can be tricky. Keep an ion them.

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  • Spoke to some scientists who were studying the odder aspects of fog. They were mystified.

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  • Erwin Schrödinger kept his theory secret for many years...

    Until someone let the cat out the bag.

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  • Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.

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  • I want to get a periodic table. I’ll only need it sometimes.

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  • A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.

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  • A biology teacher grew human vocal cords from stem cells in the lab. The results speak for themselves,

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  • Scientists trying to figure out the mysteries of space when we still have "do not drink" warnings on strawberry shampoo.

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  • Famed scientist, Robert Oppenheimer, was heard to say, "Nuke, I am your father'!!

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  • Scientists now believe the pterydactyl could urinate without making a sound.

    Their pee was silent.

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  • 99 percent of Scientists agree with who ever Funds them!!FDA too!!

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  • My friend had a theory on inertia but it never seemed to gain momentum.

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  • What did the scientists think when they found bones on the moon?
    The cow didn't make it.

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  • The Institute of incomplete research has found that six out of ten people

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  • So a bunch of us molecules and atoms went to a self-help course.
    Our speaker told us, "You all matter."

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  • Einstein got along well with his parents, relatively speaking .

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  • Warning: lakes and pools across the country have been found to contain high levels of dihydrogen monoxide, which is fatal if inhaled.

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  • What’s a scientist’s favorite gum?
    Ex-spearmint.

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  • What kind of aftershave do genetic scientists wear? Eau de clone.

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  • The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

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  • How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe.

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  • How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

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  • So a black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink.
    The bartender asks: "Would like food with that?"
    The black hole says, "No thanks, I'm a light eater".

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  • “A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.

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  • Scientists are trying to find ways of harnessing more power from the sun but it wont happen overnight.

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  • Have you heard what happened to the bad rainbow? Why he went to prism, of course! It was a light sentence.

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  • SCIENCE:

    If you don't make mistakes, you're doing it wrong.

    If you don't correct those mistakes, you're doing it really wrong.

    If you can't accept that you're mistaken, you're not doing it at all.

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  • Me: do you know what sin city is?
    Friend: yeah, it's Las Vegas.
    Me: do you know what den city is?
    Friend: no
    Me: it's mass over volume

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  • Scientists studying the sun have a flare for research.

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  • Why does the Higgs boson go to church?
    Because without it there can be no mass.

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  • Some matches are made in phosphorous factories, others are made in heaven.

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  • What did the nuclear physicist call his grandmother when he was real young?
    "Gamma."

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  • Never start a fight with a paleontologist.
    You will get Jurasskicked.

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  • I think most inventors are pretty boring.
    But Thomas Edison really lit up a room.

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  • Atom 1: I just lost an electron.
    Atom 2:how u feel?
    Atom 1: positive

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  • I’ve always loved rock bands. They’re why I became a geologist.

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  • Scientists have weighed rainbows and discovered they're pretty light.

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  • Did you know that the best way to call an amoeba is on a cell phone.

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  • You are living, you occupy space, you have mass. You matter.

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  • Biology, the only science where division and multiplication mean the same thing.

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  • Luke, use the mass times acceleration.

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  • Do you have 11 protons? Because you're sodium fine.

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  • What did the scientists think when they found bones on the moon?

    The cow didn't make it...😁

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  • Direction is much more important than speed.

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  • Science Has Proved Science Wrong.

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  • A scientist and his apprentice go out for lunch, when asked what they want to drink the scientist says 'H2O please.'.
    The apprentice agrees and says ' I'll have H2O too.'
    Then sadly, the apprentice died.

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  • If you're not part of the solution, you're either a solid or a gas....

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  • Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.

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  • My mate Dave went to our local library yesterday.
    “Hello I wonder if you can help me” said Dave to the librarian “I’d like to borrow a book about the discovery of Electromagnetic induction.”
    “Faraday?” replied the librarian
    “No” said Dave “I'm a slow reader, two weeks would be better.”

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  • I was going to do a course on String Theory, but I didn't know how long it was going to be.

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  • Do u know any facts about matter?
    Matter of fact i do.

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  • I'd give my Right Liver to better understand Biology.

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  • I should have known better than to marry an astronomer. Everything revolves around him.

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  • Q:Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
    A: To get to the same side

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