100+ Vacation and Travel Jokes that will make your day !



How do you know if an elephant loves to travel?
Because he always packs his own trunk.

- TOP vacation joke from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun


  • The wife and I can’t agree on our next trip. I want to go to Amsterdam ,but she wants to come with me……..

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  • A couple stopped at a quaint little B&B. The clerk behind the counter greeted them warmly. As they checked in he told them, "I'm very sorry but we're a little short-handed. Would you mind making your own bed?"
    "Of course not, " answered the husband, with his wife's agreement.
    "Great! Here's a saw, a hammer and some nails. There's wood and a mattress up in your room."

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  • The Earth may be getting warmer but if I ever want to cool down I go to a mountain for the climb it change.

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  • "Where do fruits go on vacation?" "Pear-is!"

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  • If flying is so safe why is the airport called the terminal ?

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  • One man almost asked a travel agent for a date. However, he had his reservations because she seemed reserved!

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  • I lost some luggage on a flight,
    I was told it ended up in Antarctica may never be found,
    It's now a cold case!!

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  • Where do sheep like to go on holiday?

    BAA-li…

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  • At an airport, one of my friends suggested we disguise ourselves as luggage. I said, "let's not get carried away".

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  • I saw Freddie Mercury at the airport. He was singing "carry on, carry on, nothing really matters..."

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  • I saw Freddie Mercury at the airport. He was singing "carry on, carry on, nothing really matters..."

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  • Just at the airport with my wife, I said "I wish I’d brought the coffee table with us."

    "Why is that?" she asked...

    "The passports are on it..."

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  • My friend Kiki wants to visit a beach in Hawaii.

    I asked her, "Why Kiki?"

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  • People who climb the world's highest mountain...
    Do they Everest?

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  • What kind of travelers never get angry?

    Nomads.

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  • As I get older, I think of all the people I've lost along the way.

    Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me?

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  • I made a list of all the things to do in Prague. It’s a Czech list;

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  • 1. Find hotel in Prague.
    2. Book holiday for Prague.
    3. Pack suitcases for Prague.
    4. Fly over to Prague.
    This is my holiday Czech list.

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  • I’ve just come back from a once in a lifetime holiday.
    Never again.

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  • I thought of going to Thailand for a vacation but then I was Phuket I’ll go anyway.

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  • That tower in Paris sure is an eye-full.

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  • What do nudists pack for vacation?
    Just the bare necessities.

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  • When I went to Japan on vacation, I didn't see a single ninja.
    Impressive.

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  • Can everyone please stop making North Korea jokes?
    My friend went there for a vacation, and he's having so much fun that he hasn't remembered to keep in touch with us for about 7 years now.

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  • What’s a good place in Austria for a Spaniard to take a vacation?
    Bienna.

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  • - I can't go on a long vacation because of my work.

    - Oh, I'm sure they can manage without you for a week.

    - Exactly! That's what I don't want them to discover.

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  • My librarian wife is very good at planning our vacations.
    She knows how to book a trip.

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  • What do you call an immigrant who's on a vacation?
    A terrourist.

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  • My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation."
    That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.

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  • I was really hesitant about going to Hiroshima for vacation
    but it was a blast!

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  • German tourist visits France.
    Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"

    German Dude: "German".

    Airport Guy: "Occupation?"

    German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".

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  • Vacations are made in China. They never last long enough.

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  • An Englishman’s wife goes on vacation.
    He goes down the pub celebrate with his mates and tells them that she’s gone for seven days to a tropical island.

    One of his mates asks, “Jamaica?”

    The man replies, “No—she wanted to go!”

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  • I asked my boss, “Can I get two weeks of vacation during Christmas?”
    Boss: It’s May.

    Me: I’m sorry. May I get two weeks off during Christmas?

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  • Why do kids like summer vacation so much?
    It's the only time they will ever get to experience a classless society.

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  • My partner and I can never agree on vacations.
    I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me.

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  • I just told my luggage there will be no vacations this year.
    Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

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  • Where do pencils go on vacation?
    Pencil-vania.

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  • This is the first year I’m not going on vacation to Paris because of covid.
    Usually I don’t go because I can’t afford it.

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  • I just went on a once in a lifetime vacation.
    Never again.

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  • How does earth and mars schedule a vacation ?
    They planet.

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  • Cyclops is searching for vacation places.
    Cyclops: how do you spell Hawaii?

    Wife: well, you need 2 i's

    Cyclops: my life is just a joke to you isn't it Linda?

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  • Where do bees stay while on vacation?
    Air Bee and Bee

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  • - Why didn’t the elephant buy a suitcase for his vacation?
    - Why?
    - Because he already had a trunk!

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  • - What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
    - What?
    - A coconut on vacation!

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  • - Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
    - Why?
    - To make up for his miserable summer.

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  • - Where did your mom go for her summer vacation?
    - Alaska.
    - Never mind, I’ll ask her myself.

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  • - What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk?
    - An elephant.
    - No, a mouse on vacation.

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  • - Where did the sheep go on vacation?
    - Where?
    - The Baa-hamas!

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  • - What summer vacation destination makes your pet bird sing for joy?
    - I haven’t a clue.
    - The Canary Islands!

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  • First dog: Where do fleas go for summer vacation?
    Second dog: Search me!

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  • Teacher: Johnny, please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence.
    Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on vacation, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.”

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  • - Where did Tarzan go on summer vacation?
    - Where?
    - Hollywood and Vine.

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  • - What did the bread do on vacation?
    - What?
    - It loafed around.

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  • - Why can’t basketball players go on summer vacation?
    - Why not?
    - They’d get called for traveling!

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More Best vacation and travel jokes on the following pages...