Hilarious jokes about NEW YEAR that will make your day 🤪!



My new years resolution is to stop using spray deodorant, roll on next year.

- Random starter New Year groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • I still don't know what I'm wearing to the living room for New Years Eve.

    To be honest,

    I might not even go.

    * * * * *


  • My new years resolution is to stop using spray deodorant, roll on next year.

    * * * * *


  • My new year’s resolution was to get in shape.
    I chose round.

    * * * * *


  • My new year’s resolution is to stop using spray on deodorant.
    Roll on 2022.

    * * * * *


  • My New Years Resolution is To have a lot more Sex.
    Haven't told the Wife though, don't want her Spoiling It.

    * * * * *



  • The good news is my new years weight loss plans are going great, the bad news is cocaine is expensive.

    * * * * *


  • s,ɹɐǝ⅄ ʍǝN

    - New Year's Revolution

    * * * * *


  • If anyone needs a New Year’s resolution, I can loan you one from the long list my wife gave me.

    * * * * *


  • I was about to cancel my New Year’s Eve plans when I remembered that I didn’t have any.

    * * * * *


  • Being old on New Year’s Eve:

    “Alexa set an alarm for 11:59 PM.”

    * * * * *


  • My new year’s resolution is to stop using spray on deodorant.
    Roll on 2022.

    * * * * *


  • Remember to poop before midnight
    tomorrow.

    You don't want to be carrying the
    same shit into the New year.

    * * * * *


  • I still don't know what I'm wearing to the living room for New Years Eve.

    To be honest,

    I might not even go.

    * * * * *


  • Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year's Eve—it's December 31.

    * * * * *


  • 🎅 People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.🤣

    * * * * *


  • Did you hear of the New Year's Eve Cantata that ended with a soprano solo?

    They wanted to end the year on a high note.

    * * * * *


  • My new years resolution is to stop using spray deodorant, roll on next year.

    * * * * *


  • My New Years Resolution is To have a lot more Sex.
    Haven't told the Wife though, don't want her Spoiling It.

    * * * * *


  • Knowing there would be lots of kissing on New Years Eve, I decided to shave off the moustache.

    Unfortunately she woke up when I sprayed the shaving foam on her face!

    * * * * *


  • The wife asked me if I'd like to see her in something long and flowing on New Year's Eve.

    I said, "The Thames would be nice."

    * * * * *


  • Happy New Year!

    (I know it's early, but I suffer from premature congratulation)

    * * * * *


  • I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution....

    1024x768.

    * * * * *


  • Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was.

    She replied “Screw you!”

    So I'm pretty excited for the new year!

    * * * * *


  • On New Year’s Eve, Chuck Norris promised that he’d lose 20 pounds. The next morning he shaved his chest and smiled as he realized that he’d lost 30.

    * * * * *


  • Already chosen my new year's resolution
    1280x1024

    * * * * *


  • My new year’s resolution was to get in shape.
    I chose round.

    * * * * *



More New Year jokes on the following pages...