Hilarious jokes about NUDISTs that will make your day 🤪!



A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp.
The police are looking into it. 👮🏿‍♂️

- Random starter nudist groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • I was unsuited to become a nudist.

    * * * * *


  • 25 PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

    1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    17. A backward poet writes inverse.

    18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
    His goal: transcend dental medication.

    * * * * *


  • Recently I got invited to a nudist dinner party but I had to skip it.
    I had nothing to wear.

    * * * * *


  • There's a nudist convention happening tomorrow via Zoom.

    I might join it if I've got nothing on.

    * * * * *


  • There’s a nudist convention in town next week,
    I might go if I’ve got nothing on.

    * * * * *



  • Q: Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?
    A: The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

    * * * * *


  • There’s a nudist convention in town next week,
    I might go if I’ve got nothing on.

    * * * * *


  • Recently I got invited to a nudist dinner party but I had to skip it.
    I had nothing to wear.

    * * * * *


  • There's a nudist convention happening tomorrow via Zoom.

    I might join it if I've got nothing on.

    * * * * *


  • PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS
    1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
    17. A backward poet writes inverse.
    18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.
    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
    His goal: transcend dental medication.

    * * * * *


  • I was unsuited to become a nudist.

    * * * * *


  • My lazy neighbor is retiring and joining a nudist colony...
    ...he said he just wanted a place where he could hang out.

    * * * * *


  • What do nudists pack for vacation?
    Just the bare necessities.

    * * * * *


  • The local nudist beach has been shut down.
    There's a big sign saying "Sorry, we're Clothed".

    * * * * *


  • 25 PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

    1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    17. A backward poet writes inverse.

    18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
    His goal: transcend dental medication.

    * * * * *


  • A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp.
    The police are looking into it. 👮🏿‍♂️

    * * * * *



More nudist jokes on the following pages...