Hilarious jokes about PESSIMISTs that will make your day 🤪!



The optimist says the glass is half full.

The pessimist says the glass is half empty.

The engineer says the glass is over-designed for the quantity of water.

- Random starter pessimists groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • Have I told you about the Russian optimist vs the pessimist?
    The pessimist says, " Things could not get worse."
    The optimist says, " Oh yes they can."

    * * * * *


  • A friend's pessimistic attitude cost him his job as a barman. With him, the glass was always half empty.

    * * * * *


  • The pessimist saw cups half empty.
    The optimist saw cups half full.
    The lady slapped them both for staring.

    * * * * *


  • Guess what proton said to the Electron

    Well, nothing much ... He just asked him why he's always negative and pessimistic.

    * * * * *


  • Why are most photographers pessimists?
    They focus on the negatives.

    * * * * *



  • Guess what proton said to the Electron

    Well, nothing much ... He just asked him why he's always negative and pessimistic.

    * * * * *


  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.

    * * * * *


  • A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel.

    An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel.

    A REALIST sees a freight train.

    The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the track.

    * * * * *


  • Have I told you about the Russian optimist vs the pessimist?
    The pessimist says, " Things could not get worse."
    The optimist says, " Oh yes they can."

    * * * * *


  • The optimist says the glass is half full.

    The pessimist says the glass is half empty.

    The engineer says the glass is over-designed for the quantity of water.

    * * * * *


  • How can you tell an optimist from a pessimist?
    Ask them to pronounce OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE.

    * * * * *


  • The pessimist sees a dark tunnel, The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
    The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel, and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.

    * * * * *


  • What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?
    An optimist created the airplane; a pessimist created the seat belts.

    * * * * *


  • Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,
    While you were arguing over that glass of water, I drank it.

    -Opportunist

    * * * * *


  • Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar - every time I have a pessimistic thought,I put in $. Currently it's half empty.

    * * * * *


  • If there was an award for the most pessimistic person
    I don't think I would win.

    * * * * *


  • Wife: why is that bottle of whiskey you bought today already half empty??

    Me: Because you're a PESSIMIST.

    * * * * *


  • The pessimist saw cups half empty.
    The optimist saw cups half full.
    The lady slapped them both for staring.

    * * * * *


  • Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.

    It's half empty.

    * * * * *


  • My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty.

    I said because she is a pessimist.

    * * * * *


  • Pessimists of the world unite.....
    not that it will do any good.

    * * * * *


  • A friend's pessimistic attitude cost him his job as a barman. With him, the glass was always half empty.

    * * * * *


  • The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.

    * * * * *


  • Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.

    * * * * *


  • Why are most photographers pessimists?
    They focus on the negatives.

    * * * * *


  • The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

    * * * * *


  • Im optimistic in a pessimistic way.

    * * * * *


  • A friend’s pessimistic attitude cost him his job as a barman. With him, the glass was always half empty.

    * * * * *


  • I have a negativity jar. Every time I have a pessimistic thought, I put a coin in the jar.
    The jar is currently half empty.

    * * * * *



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