Hilarious quotes and jokes about PHILOSOPHY that will make your day 🤪!



A Poet and a Philosopher walk into a bar ; after 4 Martini's there was no longer any rhyme nor reason to the evening,...🍸

- Random starter philosophical groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • Study mathematics to understand physics

    Study physics to understand chemistry

    Study chemistry to understand biology

    Study biology to understand psychology

    Study psychology to understand economics

    Study economics and philosophy to be free

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  • Philosophy books are a Nietzsche market. 👨‍🦳

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  • Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention.
    I laughed more than I thought.

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  • What do you get if you cross a philosopher with a godfather? An offer you can't understand.

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  • " By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
    ~ Socrates

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  • Philosophy books are a Nietzsche market. 👨‍🦳

    * * * * *


  • My Eastern philosophy guru told me ...
    "To grow in enlightenment, you must live in harmony with the mystical Source of everything."

    "Wait," I said. "I thought you told me last week that enlightenment came from sudden bursts of insight when meditating on a koan."

    "Well," he replied, "that was Zen. This is Tao."

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  • A philosopher says to a linguist, “What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?”
    The linguist replied, “They’d be more possessive and have more frequent contractions.”

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  • I once got provoked by a Greek philosopher.
    I got Socra-TEASED!!!!

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  • Did you hear about the philosophical taxi driver?
    He said, “It’s not the work I enjoy, it’s the people I run into!”

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  • What do you get if you cross a philosopher with a godfather? An offer you can't understand.

    * * * * *


  • A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

    —Ludwig Wittgenstein

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  • I recently bought a manual on philosophy.
    But Immanuel Kant explain it properly.

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  • Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention.
    I laughed more than I thought.

    * * * * *


  • How am I feeling about the upcoming Enlightenment Philosophy Conference?
    I Kant wait!

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  • A Poet and a Philosopher walk into a bar ; after 4 Martini's there was no longer any rhyme nor reason to the evening,...🍸

    * * * * *


  • " By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
    ~ Socrates

    * * * * *


  • "Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it."
    - Epictetus

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  • Study mathematics to understand physics

    Study physics to understand chemistry

    Study chemistry to understand biology

    Study biology to understand psychology

    Study psychology to understand economics

    Study economics and philosophy to be free

    * * * * *



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