Hilarious jokes about ZOMBIEs that will make your day 🤪!



Why do zombies speak Latin? It's a dead language.

- Random starter zombie groaner from Adminus Anonimous, the fun manager.

Сrazy people telling jokes are ready for fun



  • As a funeral director, I tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.

    Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious.

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  • I tried to make a song with the cranberries but the lead singer is now a *zombie*.

    * * * * *


  • - What does a zombie get when it bites a ghost?
    - A mouth full of sheet!

    * * * * *


  • Why don't zombies eat ghosts?
    Because they taste like sheet.

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  • I stabbed a vampire, beat some zombies to death and killed the devil himself...

    My wife rushed into the room and shouted, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES."

    * * * * *



  • - What does a zombie get when it bites a ghost?
    - A mouth full of sheet!

    * * * * *


  • - What does a vegan zombie eat?
    - GRAAIIIIIIIINS.

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  • Q: Did you hear about the vegan Zombie?
    A: He went to the insane asylum and only ate the vegetables!

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  • After watching a few zombie films I've come to the conclusion that I would be a cameraman in the event of a zombie-apocalypse.
    They never seem to attack them.

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  • Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.

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  • I stabbed a vampire, beat some zombies to death and killed the devil himself...

    My wife rushed into the room and shouted, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES."

    * * * * *


  • Why did the zombie ignore all his Facebook friends? He was still DIGESTING all of his followers on Twitter!

    * * * * *


  • I tried to make a song with the cranberries but the lead singer is now a *zombie*.

    * * * * *


  • Why do zombies speak Latin? It's a dead language.

    * * * * *


  • Why don't zombies eat ghosts?
    Because they taste like sheet.

    * * * * *


  • Everyone's self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.

    * * * * *


  • Why do zombies speak Latin? It's a dead language.

    * * * * *


  • “If you could choose one person living or dead to hang out with who would it be?”

    - how to confuse a zombie

    * * * * *


  • As a funeral director, I tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.

    Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious.

    * * * * *



More zombie jokes on the following pages...